Wise Guy’s Wise Move

Authorities in Florida are trying to determine whether or not actor Joe Pesci should be charged with misdemeanor battery for punching a fan. According to the 24-year-old “victim’s” own testimony:

After encountering Pesci, 62, he shook the actor’s hand and told him he was a big fan. He then purchased a camera, walked toward Pesci and asked for a picture, but the actor refused, he said.

He kept asking to take a picture, and when Pesci turned, he took the photograph. Pesci then punched him with his right fist, the report said.

Good for Pesci!

See? I found one.

Taking someone’s picture is by no means deserving of a right hook but being an asshole is. Why did he even bother to ask Pesci if he was going to do it anyway? And why was it so necessary for him to take that picture? I’m sure there are plenty of pictures of Joe Pesci available on the Internet and I can’t imagine he needed it as proof for his friends. Just like in the Robbie Knievel situation, there’s no reason to think someone’s lying when they claim to have met Joe Pesci.

It must be sweet to be in Pesci’s position. What’s the worst that can happen as a result of his actions? They can slap him with a fine he can pay without even flinching. Or they could send him to jail for a few days, which might actually be fun for him. Everybody loves Joe Pesci- nobody’s gonna hassle him in the slammer.

While I’ve frequently expressed my support for The Golden Rule, I’m also a strong proponent of The Golden Rule’s follow-up policy: Payback Is A Bitch. I can only fantasize about some of the retaliatory measures I’d take if I didn’t have to worry about the consequences:

  • I’d throw eggs at the cars of people who think it’s okay to honk 10 times when picking up a friend at midnight. For that matter, I’d throw them at people who think it’s okay to honk 10 times at any hour.
  • I’d physically pick up a child screaming in public and move him out of earshot of innocent bystanders thereby showing the parent it can be done.
  • I’d print bright stickers that say “Ungrateful Bastard” and stick them on the foreheads of people who don’t say “thanks” when it’s appropriate (I could actually do that now but I don’t think I could afford the quantity it would take to get me through a whole day).
  • I’d break the index fingers of people who split tens or hit against dealer bust cards in black jack.
  • I’d cut the phone wires at the home of the guy who invented those phone trees that make it impossible to get an actual customer service rep on the line. I’d also destroy all recordings of that automated woman who keeps repeating, “Hmmm. I’m not sure if I got that. Did you say, ‘You God damn piece of shit company?’” Why yes, I did say that. Now get a real person on the line.
  • Ah, to dream…

    15 Comments

    1. i think you are totally correct! i wish i had thought of that. but i think it sounds better coming from someone other than me.

    2. Too funny, yet again. How do you keep em rollin’? If you need to read about more idiots, check out my latest post on kristismess.blogspot.com/

    3. I think your missing the biggest point here. Why would you admit that your a fan of Pesci? It’s like admitting you have gonorrhea. Not cool.

    4. wow…true,true,true and true…..
      those thing always make me mad…..

    5. If that guy from Gladiator punched somebody, we’d all by saying he’s a bully. But Joe Pesci is that guy from the the Home Alone series. He’s been abused enough by that one kid.

    6. I wonder how many of these people go on to win a Darwin Award?

    7. At the end of the day actors should expect to have this done to them. People will want pictures, if they are fans or otherwise. If they are out in public then that’s part and parcel of the industry they got into. I can understand Pesci if this guy had invaded his private home, got into a hotel room he was staying at or even in a closed set. But it was out in public.
      Pesci made a choice to become a known celebrity and he should take it and be grateful somebody actually likes him enough to want a photograph of him. If he didn’t want the hassles then he should of not polluted the big screen with his annoying voice to begin with.

    8. LOL.. very very funny. Ironic really.

    9. I agree with you to an extent, Dimutech. If the guy had just taken the photo, he wouldn’t have deserved a punch. It’s the fact that he asked- repeatedly- and still did it that’s so annoying. While I think celebrities should expect fans to approach them, it doesn’t mean it’s appropriate for fans to do so. I just don’t see what people get out of simply meeting a celebrity. Pesci made a choice to become an actor but he hasn’t abused the publicity machine like J Lo or Britney Spears to warrant interruptions on his private time.

    10. anonymous

      You obviously don’t have kids

    11. you have right in life the first autority is money i m french my life winer in the business to been the big boss are you millionnaire need or are you dream to bee millionnaire i can help you

    12. I had to reply to the comment by Dimutech:

      Since when did actors or celebrities start having less right than rest of the people? If an actor, or anybody else for that matter don’t want his picture taken, then he got every right to not have to deal with that.

      As for Pesci polluting the big screen – you can always exercise your own right not to have to deal with that. A hint: don’t see those movies.

      I’m not a Pesci fan, but this line of thinking is ludicrous. It’s like saying if you keep your doors open, it’s ok for someone to steal from you; if you walk in a rough neighborhood, you deserve to be shot; and if you are a celebrity, you deserve to be harassed.

      Get me?

    13. I would rip people’s cell phones/pagers/PDA’s from their ultra gay belt clip, and show them that it does actually fit into their pocket.

    14. Ok Jenée and nc. Points taken. Partial agreement as well. Ok this guy was obviously over stepping the mark but actors have got to expect fans will want photos. To crack him a right hook is that ok to do?
      NC – I’m not a Pesci fan,(me neither) but this line of thinking is ludicrous. It’s like saying if you keep your doors open, it’s ok for someone to steal from you;(No it’s not ok but unfortunately nowadays you have got to expect it) if you walk in a rough neighborhood, you deserve to be shot;(Not deserve but again a good chance it could happen ie expect it to happen) and if you are a celebrity, you deserve to be harassed.(Ok this guy did harass and celebs do not deserve it just got to expect it because of the job they chose)That was my point all along.
      NC – You can always exercise your own right not to have to deal with that.A hint: don’t see those movies. I generally exercise that right but I do like the film Goodfellas.

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