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The Real MySpace Page

So I had a little fun with the MySpace page. Sadly I’ve come to realize my niche in comedy is in fake profiles. Not a whole lot of money to be made there. While I did it strictly for amusement, I encountered a few situations that are appropriate fodder for this blog.
As I discovered the first time I tried MySpace (Just “1 Friends” On MySpace), pretty much anybody will accept a stranger as a friend so the tally means nothing. Actually, when you’re Bea Arthur, you only have to add a few friends and then the invites start pouring in. There were a few interesting email exchanges I thought I’d share.

Invitee: Who are you and how do you know me? I don’t add people i don’t know
(Clearly, this is a discriminating MySpace user).
Bea: I’m Bea Arthur from tv’s “Golden Girls.”
Invitee: Right. I’m sure Bea Arthur has a myspace account and adds random black men to her friends list. Seriously, how do you know me? And If you don’t know me, why do you want to be my friend? I only accept the top applicants.

He only accepts the “top applicants?” The guy’s page features two full screen pictures of a girl’s butt in a g-string. Bea Arthur’s ass may not look as great, but she’s certainly worthy of a lousy MySpace add. Fortunately for Bea, he must have temporarily relaxed his “applicant” standards and didn’t even wait for a reply before adding Bea as a friend.

The next email in Bea’s inbox was from a girl who wrote:
Girl: I see youre promoting my man on your top 8….I always love to see people helpin him out…. ;-) thx

Bea’s not the type to admit that the only qualification for making her top 8 list is to have a picture that gives the impression you’ve killed a person at some point. Well, actually, with Roc-Rok, it’s kinda hard to tell but she qualified via her other assets.

Then the girl sent another email and this was the exchange:
Girl: So who are you really?
Bea: I’m Bea Arthur from tv’s “Golden Girls.”
Girl: Does someone do your page for you….cuz I see you know a lot of the same people I do and theyre all from out this way…

I think we actually hooked one here. I guess she doesn’t realize the similar friends are a result of Bea poaching a few rappers’ friends lists.

Bea: I know most of them from the clubs. Even at my age, I still like to shake it.

No response this time so maybe she caught on.

Here’s the final exchange:
Random person Bea didn’t invite: Whats up momma….I was just wonderin who dis really is…???
Bea: I’m Bea Arthur from tv’s “Golden Girls.”
Random person: It seems like youre someone else and I see you know my boy **** how do you know so many rappers?

He thinks it seems like it’s someone else but he doesn’t want to go out on a limb and risk offending what could be the real Bea Arthur by calling her a fraud.

Bea: The question is, how do so many rappers know Bea Arthur? Some would say I’m an American icon.

I guess that answered his question because he didn’t respond.

While being Bea was much more fun, I do have a real site that I finally got involved with. Right now most of the people on my list are actual friends with a couple of obvious jokes thrown in. It’s interesting to go through comics’ pages and realize we all know the same people, which makes it even weirder when I keep seeing the same person’s picture on various pages and I don’t know him or her. It makes me feel out of the loop. The drawback to having all comics on my friends page is that it’s counterproductive to my purpose of drawing in more traffic. Comics are too wrapped up in their own hilarious endeavors to support each other’s. I guess I’ll either have to leave some great comments on their pages and hope to draw in some of their fans or I’ll have to get started on a June Cleaver page. There’s something about old white ladies belonging to groups like, “Bitch buy me some Kool-Aid!” that really draws people in.

My real honest-to-goodness MySpace page (well, it’s as real as I can bear to make it). Add me to your friends list. I’ll accept even if you aren’t one of the “top applicants.”

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