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Thank You, Eva Longoria

Tonight I went to the store to pick up my contribution for the family Easter dinnerr- rolls. I figured things out a long time ago: You show people you’re a good cook and then they want you to bring fancy dishes for every occasion. But it only takes one too-spicy carrot soup on Thanksgiving and from then on, you’re only asked to bring items you can’t really screw up, like rolls. Actually, the last few years I’ve been in charge of bringing beverages so this is sort of a step up. I considered baking croissants then realized that might show some cooking skills and could result in a future request for some sort of side dish. Rolls from a bag it is.

While shopping, I suddenly had an urge for chocolate chip cookie dough. I don’t know where the craving came from since I haven’t had cookie dough in probably five years. I previously described my “eat junk, lose weight” diet (which some doctor labelled with the more-professional, less-catchy name, “intuitive eating”). The reason it works is because I eat when I’m hungry but I rarely snack. But, man, I wanted that cookie dough and to make the dilemma more difficult, it was on sale for 2 for $4. And the package said it would keep until July (which actually kind of scared me- what’s in that stuff)?

So I picked up the two logs and proceeded to the cashier.The line was long enough that I had plenty of time to stare at a magazine that featured Eva Longoria on the cover looking amazing in a tiny bikini. I went back and forth with whether or not I should buy the cookie dough. I’m under no delusion that skipping the treat will get me any closer to looking that good in a bikini but I realized that eating it would get me that much farther from looking like that. So in the end, I put the cookie dough back.

I thought the home pregnancy test was a bad impulse item to display but I think pictures of hard bodies in a grocery store are even worse.

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