There's this chain letter type of thing going around on Facebook for which you're supposed to write 25 random facts about yourself then tag 25 friends and make them do the same. It's not exactly a chain letter because it doesn't say you're going to die or end up at the bottom of a Ponzi scheme or anything like that but people are spreading it nonetheless. I opted out of tagging 25 people and just tagged the people who tagged me and a couple others I felt like annoying. But since I've been such a horrendous blogger lately I decided to copy and paste it here as well. Some of this may be repetitious to anybody who's read my blog ...
... Hearing the words "please," "thank you" and "I'm sorry," especially when said by my nephews without any prompting.
... When my nephews yell "NENE!!" and attack me upon arrival, even though it tends to destroy my back for a couple days.
... Time I get to spend with my nephews (well, up to 72 hours. There are only so many conversations about superheroes I can take).
... People who have their money ready.
... Lines that move quickly.
... No lines at all.
... New episodes of Lost, particularly ones that are Desmond-centric.
... Suited Big Slick in the hole.
... When the U.S. provides humanitarian aid to our enemies.
... When karma skips her lunch break.
... Rumors ...
... Those who blame every heat wave on global warming.
... Those who say every cold spell is evidence against global warming.
... Those who think Wikipedia is the ultimate resource.
... Those who think Wikipedia is a worthless resource.
... Those who park their SUV's in spaces marked "compact."
... Those who drive erratically because they're holding a cell phone. Buy a damn Bluetooth headset already.
... Those who take me too seriously. Seriously, don't.
... Those who are new to Southern California who argue that our heavy winds are called "Santana winds." Maybe that's the origin but we call them "Santa Ana winds." You'll sound like a dufus if you use the former term.
... Those who use a lot of clichés/idioms, usually incorrectly (i.e. ...
... When a blogger doesn't post anything for a whole month (dum dee dum dum...).
... People who think responses like, "Excuse me?" or "Repeat that?" mean "Please repeat just the last word or two of that statement." Example:
Friend: Oh my god! There are one thousand naked midgets marching down Hollywood Boulevard.
Me: Wh-what did you say?!
Friend: Hollywood Boulevard.
Don't be a dumbshit. If someone needs you to repeat something be sure to include the important part.
... People who think turn signals are optional.
... People who don't know how to parallel park when there are cars behind them. How the hell am I supposed to know you're turning into a location you just passed? When nobody's behind you, you back in. When cars ...
... Pastels, which is why I finally changed my site's design.
... When strangers tell me to smile. I used to weakly oblige but now I tell them, "I just lost my job, smashed my car and my dog died." Sometimes they'll give a "Well, things will get better" but usually they just mutter a "Oh, sorry" and run away. And that ends up making me smile.
... When people in a crosswalk decide that rather than walk between the two painted lines, they're going to go the "shortest distance between two points is a single line" route and veer off into the driving lane. So now I've got to wait an extra five minutes to complete my right turn. I believe ...
With the advent of the Internet came the introduction of the term "LOL." I'm sure it served a useful purpose when it was first used, presumably by Al Gore after receiving a good anal rape joke in the only email ever to have just one "fwd" in the subject (since he's apparently responsible for everything related to the world wide web). But it didn't take long for amateurs to abuse the acronym to the point of being annoying. First they used the term as a response to moderately amusing statements:
"Poker? I didn't even know her!"
"LOL!"
The letters stand for "laugh out loud." If a comment barely made you snicker, find another term. But loosely throwing around LOL only encourages mediocre ...
Despite how I may come across in writing, I'm actually a very even-tempered person. The only times I yell are when I'm driving and when I'm playing online poker. My neighbors must think I'm in an abusive lesbian relationship due to my frequent shouts of, "YOU STUPID BITCH! HOW COULD YOU MAKE THAT CALL??!!" I do, however, show remarkable restraint in live games.
Playing poker creates a bit of conflict for me. On the one hand, stupid players are the reason I can make money at it. On the other hand, stupidity in any form bugs the crap out of me and I want an explanation for it. For the most part, I keep the chat function turned off but occasionally ...
