CONTACT		BIO		PHOTOS		VIDEOS		FASHION POLICE		MYSPACE  FACEBOOK

Barack Obama: Son Of A…

Forget about race or gender, when this happens we'll know our nation has truly made progress:

Put A Bounty On The Senate’s Brains

Today the Senate voted 87-1 to double the price of the bounty on Osama bin Laden's head to $50 million. That means all but one person on the Senate are under the belief that an extra $25 million might make the difference in finding bin Laden, as if the first $25 million just wasn't enough of an incentive for somebody. Who do they think has information as to his whereabouts? Oprah Winfrey? Forget about the money. I think most people would turn in their own mother just to do an interview with Oprah. Come to think of it, the one holdout probably wanted to triple the bounty. Our country is so screwed.

SURE…When *I* Make Money, Game Over

For months people have been asking me what I would do if the online gaming bill (Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act of 2006) passed and I said I wasn't going to worry about it until it happened. Well, barring the immediate discovery of naughty emails sent from George Dubya to underage male interns, it's a done deal. So now it's time to worry about it. The fact that it's soon to be law is not a reason I would stop playing Internet poker. There are moral laws then there are the intrusive laws of people with their own agendas. In case there's any question as to which kind the online gaming bill is, let me point out that state-run lotteries and ...

I Shall Name The Fetus Veto Cordleonlygoinginthetrash

As a big "fuck you, you stupid ignorant fool" to Bush for his stem cell bill veto, I've decided to get pregnant and have an abortion. If anybody knows how I can contact George Clooney for assistance in this important political endeavor, please let me know. Also, if you haven't already seen video of Bush at the G8 summit dinner, it's below. I have absolutely no problem with our president cursing in front of other world leaders- in fact I like it. But you have to wonder about the sort of people Bush has surrounded himself by that apparently nobody has ever had the guts to say to him, "Dude, close your mouth when you eat. You look like a damn ...

Progress Instead of Protest

A whopping 500,000 people turned out for yesterday's immigration reform protest in Los Angeles, causing major gridlock at freeway offramps as people wondered where else they could get fresh oranges.

Border Line Ridiculous

Not only do I hate big crowds, I strongly suspect it's all a trap from INS and an enormous net's going to fall from the skyscrapers gathering everybody up. Plus, with everybody protesting, I don't know who would park my car (COME ON! You were all thinking it).

Bushit

bu'shit (bsht) n. 1.The crap that comes out of our president's mouth. Today in Afghanistan, George Dubya asserted that when it comes to Osama Bin Laden and Taliban leader Mullah Omar, "It's not a matter of if they're captured and brought to justice. It's when they're brought to justice." I'm curious what calendar Dubya lives by. My calendar is just an Outlook freebie but according to it, it's been four and a half years since he vowed Bin Laden would be taken "dead or alive." Since then, his "resolve" in finding Bin Laden has mysteriously gone all the way to ...

Copyright © 1999-2008 Jenée.net. All rights reserved. Any jokes attempted in this blog are done so under the supervision of a professional. Do not try these on your own blog.