My sister sent me the following pictures with the caption "Tennessee Wedding." While I don't have definitive proof that the wedding took place in Tennessee, I think the evidence speaks for itself: “Brad and Angelina's kid won't have anything on our offspring." (Including that extra chromosome).

This clip from TVgasm demonstrates how a tv scene's mood changes when another show's theme music is applied, such as 24's Jack Bauer working to The Golden Girls theme song. I got a kick out of it.

Thanks to bobgirrl's trackback, I found this site: JesusPets. Like her, I originally questioned if it was legit but after reading a few of the posts, I see it's not. And it's hilarious. A little sampler for you: If you're a Christian, you've got a big problem on your hands. After you're swept away to walk the streets of gold with Jesus, red hot lava is going to pour from Mt. St. Helens and right over your dog, leaving his burned body encased for millennia until discovered by godless alien archeologists. And what do you suppose they'll do to his charred yet supple and hermetically sealed haunches? They are godless after all. (What would you do? That long space ...

A 20-year-old was found by a Wal-Mart employee in the bathroom Sunday night after he sat down and was glued to the toilet seat. (Full story) Where do I start with this one? I guess with the lesson every parent should teach their kids: Don't put your bare ass on a public toilet. If the guy had placed the paper cover on the seat, he would have noticed that it didn't fall right into the bowl as seat covers are prone to do thus bringing to his attention that something was amiss. But apparently he felt confident that people looking to save an extra nickel on Top Ramen have the sort of defecation habits that don't necessitate the use of protective ...

Bad time to get lonely on a business trip- that hooker has a dick. And a badge. Go directly to jail.

More tv stuff that's too good to not share... In the past I've bragged about my amazing skills with the remote control. Well, little did I know that the Public Service Announcements I breezed through during the last episode of The Office were actually spoofs of NBC's cheesy "The More You Know" PSA's. NBC put 16 of them up on their website and a few had me close to tears they're so funny. My favorite is "Know Your Bears," though all of the ones featuring Rainn Wilson are particularly funny. That guy kills me. You have to check these out. The Office PSA's: Office Relationship “Thumb” common misperceptions....

If I didn't already have 10,000 t-shirts I never wear, I'd get this one because this is hysterical. (Photos from: Samizdata.net) Available from T-Shirt Hell for $18. Actually, they have a bunch of great shirts. Some of the funnier ones (at least, the ones I'll admit to thinking are especially funny): I THINK I MAY HAVE THE ASIAN BIRD FRU- I MEAN FLU (DAMN IT'S STARTING ALREADY) YOU'LL REGRET READING THIS SHIRT WHEN THE SKETCH ARTIST ASKS YOU TO DESCRIBE MY FACE I MAY HAVE ALZHEIMER'S BUT AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE ALZHEIMER'S (Front) THERE'S A FUCKIN' ASSHOLE LOOKING AT ME (Back) ...STILL LOOKING AT ME 1f u c4n r34d th1s u ...

As promised, I've thrown myself into the MySpace mix with guns blazing. I was really surprised how many of my close friends had MySpace pages and how many groups there are that cater to my very specific interests. I hope you'll check out my page and let me know what you think. I guess I should mention that the MySpace picture is a little more current than the photo on this site so it may come as a surprise to some of the regular readers: Jenée's MySpace page

I have to confess, I did something really stupid. I figured I'd give online dating a shot and decided to sign up at Match.com. I paid my non-refundable membership fees and waited for the emails to pour in. Apparently I didn't read the fine print and it turns out I signed up at misMatch.com. I don't want my money to go to waste so I've decided to make the best of it. Below are the profiles they sent me. Let me know if you think any would suit me. Bachelor #1 Bachelor #2 Bachelor #3 [tags]online+dating, internet+dating, personals, match, gag+profiles, bachelor, single, dating[/tags]

I was finishing up today's post when an email brought to my attention the fact that my blog is missing the "flag?" button. Now, it's possible that the Blogger powers-that-be stumbled upon my blog (which isn't hard to do these days), realized the enormous social importance of this blog (through such topics as the American Idol premiere, Paris Hilton's smashup and Robbie Kneivel's sex life) and decided to rid me of the oppressive judgment measure other Blogger users are subjected to. But since I don't live in Never Never Land, I know that didn't happen. Instead, it appears that I'm the recipient of some flagging (derived from the words "fag" and "flogging") which is done by closed-minded sheep ...

This morning, California executed a guy minutes after his 76th birthday ended. I can't help but wonder how his final visitors handled the situation. Did they wish him a happy birthday? Did they bring him gifts? (If so, did they keep the receipts)? Hallmark claims to have "cards for every occasion" but I've never seen a "condemned loved one" section in the greeting card aisle. I can only guess this is what some of his cards said: Front: On this, your birthday, remember... Inside: Live each day like it's your last! Front: Who would have thought you'd reach the ripe old age of 76? Inside: Certainly not 12 former jurors Front: At your age, don't think of it as having one foot in ...

When I started out in standup, I used my first and last names on stage. Then I had a few incidents with creepy guys that made me think I shouldn't. So I figured until I hear about another Jenée in the business, one name will do. Kinda like Madonna or Cher or God. Over the years, when people have asked what my last name is, I've declined to tell them. Not because it's a big secret but because people always say, "You won't tell me? Whatever, I really don't care." And then they go to great lengths to try and find out what it is. So I withhold the information out of sheer amusement. A comic I play poker with kept harping ...

While shopping at the $.99 Store (because I make the big bucks), I noticed they have a gift card available for purchase. Now first of all, I think receiving any gift card is a little awkward. It's as if the giver is saying, "I have absolutely no idea what you like, but I'm afraid you'd spend cash on booze and gambling." But a gift card to the $.99 Store just says, "I have absolutely no idea what you like, but I know you don't mind crap." So of course I had to buy one for my friend- and I only wanted to put $.98 on it. The problem is, you have to buy it for $9.99 so I tried explaining to the ...