[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="303" caption="Maybe Jason is reconsidering his third choice, Jillian."][/caption] Of course I have to comment on the "most dramatic finale ever" of The Bachelor. Just to recap what I've written about recent seasons of The Bachelor/ette: first we had Brad Womack, the tool who told the final two contestants that he could see each of them as his wife then he proceeded to dump both of them in the end. So then reject Deanna Pappas got her "second shot at love" and her final two choices were crazy snowboarder Jesse and divorced father Jason. She ...

My poor nephew Zach. Last year he stumbled upon a video of Santa being shot on Christmas Eve, and here he is discovering that his gingerbread house has gone into foreclosure. I fear if Santa doesn't get him that Playstation he's dying for, the only bailout he'll need is from jail. Here's wishing everybody a Mele Kalikimaka!

Well the first photo from Bessie and Billy Bob's Tennessee wedding night is in and I have to share. Because I'm 12. For immature eyes only!

This clip from TVgasm demonstrates how a tv scene's mood changes when another show's theme music is applied, such as 24's Jack Bauer working to The Golden Girls theme song. I got a kick out of it.

Thanks to bobgirrl's trackback, I found this site: JesusPets. Like her, I originally questioned if it was legit but after reading a few of the posts, I see it's not. And it's hilarious. A little sampler for you: If you're a Christian, you've got a big problem on your hands. After you're swept away to walk the streets of gold with Jesus, red hot lava is going to pour from Mt. St. Helens and right over your dog, leaving his burned body encased for millennia until discovered by godless alien archeologists. And what do you suppose they'll do to his charred yet supple and hermetically sealed haunches? They are godless after all. (What would you do? That long space ...

Bad time to get lonely on a business trip- that hooker has a dick. And a badge. Go directly to jail.

More tv stuff that's too good to not share... In the past I've bragged about my amazing skills with the remote control. Well, little did I know that the Public Service Announcements I breezed through during the last episode of The Office were actually spoofs of NBC's cheesy "The More You Know" PSA's. NBC put 16 of them up on their website and a few had me close to tears they're so funny. My favorite is "Know Your Bears," though all of the ones featuring Rainn Wilson are particularly funny. That guy kills me. You have to check these out. The Office PSA's: Office Relationship “Thumb” common misperceptions....

If I didn't already have 10,000 t-shirts I never wear, I'd get this one because this is hysterical. (Photos from: Samizdata.net) Available from T-Shirt Hell for $18. Actually, they have a bunch of great shirts. Some of the funnier ones (at least, the ones I'll admit to thinking are especially funny): I THINK I MAY HAVE THE ASIAN BIRD FRU- I MEAN FLU (DAMN IT'S STARTING ALREADY) YOU'LL REGRET READING THIS SHIRT WHEN THE SKETCH ARTIST ASKS YOU TO DESCRIBE MY FACE I MAY HAVE ALZHEIMER'S BUT AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE ALZHEIMER'S (Front) THERE'S A FUCKIN' ASSHOLE LOOKING AT ME (Back) ...STILL LOOKING AT ME 1f u c4n r34d th1s u ...

Ok, I accidentally linked the MySpace page to my own site out of habit. My MySpace address is www.myspace.com/comedianjenee . Since this topic is lingering, I'll mention another email Bea just received: Subject: Hi Beatrice Message: Hi how are you iam S***** v*** I think you rock on the show because you are a Taurus like me Iam from Colorado and 16 you aree my favorite character. goodbye S**** V*** I checked out her page, thinking this had to be a prankster. Within three seconds I was sure I was right because it was the classic mockery of a teenage girl's site: sparkly things bouncing all over the background, Mariah Carey theme song, enormous pictures of parents, ...

So I had a little fun with the MySpace page. Sadly I've come to realize my niche in comedy is in fake profiles. Not a whole lot of money to be made there. While I did it strictly for amusement, I encountered a few situations that are appropriate fodder for this blog. As I discovered the first time I tried MySpace (Just "1 Friends" On MySpace), pretty much anybody will accept a stranger as a friend so the tally means nothing. Actually, when you're Bea Arthur, you only have to add a few friends and then the invites start pouring in. There were a few interesting email exchanges I thought I'd share. Invitee: Who are you and how do you know me? I don't add people i don't know (Clearly, this is a discriminating MySpace user). Bea: I'm Bea Arthur from tv's "Golden Girls." Invitee: Right. I'm sure Bea Arthur has a myspace account and adds random black men to her friends list. Seriously, how do you know me? And If you don't know me, why do you want to be my friend? I only accept the top applicants. He only accepts the "top applicants?" The guy's page features two full screen pictures of a girl's butt in a g-string. Bea Arthur's ass may not look as great, but she's certainly worthy of a lousy MySpace add. Fortunately for Bea, he must have temporarily relaxed his "applicant" standards and didn't even wait for a reply before adding Bea as a friend.

As promised, I've thrown myself into the MySpace mix with guns blazing. I was really surprised how many of my close friends had MySpace pages and how many groups there are that cater to my very specific interests. I hope you'll check out my page and let me know what you think. I guess I should mention that the MySpace picture is a little more current than the photo on this site so it may come as a surprise to some of the regular readers: Jenée's MySpace page

I have to confess, I did something really stupid. I figured I'd give online dating a shot and decided to sign up at Match.com. I paid my non-refundable membership fees and waited for the emails to pour in. Apparently I didn't read the fine print and it turns out I signed up at misMatch.com. I don't want my money to go to waste so I've decided to make the best of it. Below are the profiles they sent me. Let me know if you think any would suit me. Bachelor #1 Bachelor #2 Bachelor #3 [tags]online+dating, internet+dating, personals, match, gag+profiles, bachelor, single, dating[/tags]

This morning, California executed a guy minutes after his 76th birthday ended. I can't help but wonder how his final visitors handled the situation. Did they wish him a happy birthday? Did they bring him gifts? (If so, did they keep the receipts)? Hallmark claims to have "cards for every occasion" but I've never seen a "condemned loved one" section in the greeting card aisle. I can only guess this is what some of his cards said: Front: On this, your birthday, remember... Inside: Live each day like it's your last! Front: Who would have thought you'd reach the ripe old age of 76? Inside: Certainly not 12 former jurors Front: At your age, don't think of it as having one foot in ...