Rather than spending a few minutes finishing up one of the many posts I've started in the last month, I decided to spend a few hours redesigning my site instead. That's because I'd had the old theme for far too long and there's also the fact that I can't seem to comprehend the meaning of the word "prioritize." There are still a few kinks that I'll be working out in the next few days, unless a shiny object catches my eye in which case I'll never get around to fixing the problems.

In my last post, I mentioned some unusual search terms people have used to find my blog and today comes one that's a rainbow of fruit flavors: "using skittles for anal sex." What I find particularly amusing is the fact that my blog isn't the sole result, in fact, it isn't even the first result. It is 10th out of over 32,000 results. People are freaks. And just to absolve myself of some of that freakishness by putting the usage in proper context within my blog, the terms were used (separately) in response to a bizarre Sharon Stone quote that I commented on here: "Things That Make You Go…Hummer."

A couple months ago I noticed that my visitor stats had gone way down and I was no longer getting any referrals from Google. Even for a term like "Jenee" for which I've always been the #1 result, I didn't show up at all. Through some searching I learned that this happens with sites that Google deems to be spam sites and I couldn't understand why mine would be flagged as such. I thought maybe I'd used one-too-many "fucks" or "cunts" so I put in a request for reconsideration. Then while fixing some code with my theme I discovered by accident that there was a ton of spam-like hidden links contained within my index file that bulked up my homepage to ...

Come on- the resemblance is funny. Check out real Cats that look like Hitler (and of course, comments from the people who can't see the humor in kitlers).

The latest viral making the rounds is the "2 Girls 1 Cup" video (AKA "Cup Chicks"). It is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in my life, so bad that I could only watch glimpses of it (and considering I managed to watch the "Girl Blowing A Donkey" video in its entirety, that's pretty bad). What's fun about this video is that people record their friends' (or their own) reaction to seeing it for the first time and put it up on YouTube. I've just spent the last hour watching these reactions and they're always hilarious. It's like this enormous prank being pulled around the world and thanks to cyberspace, we all get to be in on it. If you ...

With the advent of the Internet came the introduction of the term "LOL." I'm sure it served a useful purpose when it was first used, presumably by Al Gore after receiving a good anal rape joke in the only email ever to have just one "fwd" in the subject (since he's apparently responsible for everything related to the world wide web). But it didn't take long for amateurs to abuse the acronym to the point of being annoying. First they used the term as a response to moderately amusing statements: "Poker? I didn't even know her!" "LOL!" The letters stand for "laugh out loud." If a comment barely made you snicker, find another term. But loosely throwing around LOL only encourages mediocre ...

I've always laughed in the face of superstition: I've flown several times on Friday the 13th (flights are cheap and the planes are usually empty). When I had to choose a number for a new cell phone (which I'd purchased on Friday the 13th), I jumped at the one with the prefix "666." And I had the coolest black cat ever. With the luck I have, I'm starting to think my disregard for superstitions ain't so smart. Last week's Friday the 13th started out with an email from my poker site stating that because Bush was set to sign the Internet gambling bill later in the day, they were ceasing business with their US customers and all accounts would be closed ...

Despite how I may come across in writing, I'm actually a very even-tempered person. The only times I yell are when I'm driving and when I'm playing online poker. My neighbors must think I'm in an abusive lesbian relationship due to my frequent shouts of, "YOU STUPID BITCH! HOW COULD YOU MAKE THAT CALL??!!" I do, however, show remarkable restraint in live games. Playing poker creates a bit of conflict for me. On the one hand, stupid players are the reason I can make money at it. On the other hand, stupidity in any form bugs the crap out of me and I want an explanation for it. For the most part, I keep the chat function turned off but occasionally ...

I got my first "tag" from Kristi at A Beautiful Mess. The way I recall the game of tag as a kid was a boy would touch me and say, "You're it" then I'd turn around, kick him in the balls and say, "You're it." (I always blamed my bad early luck with boys on my height and freckles but maybe the long-term testicular damage I caused had something to do with it). No balls to kick in this tag, I'm just supposed to list six weird things about myself. I think the weirdest thing is that I had a hard time coming up with this list. Gotta love denial. 1. I like ranch dressing on just about everything but ...

Bobgirrl posted a link on her site to a face recognition program on My Heritage that compares an image of your face to various celebrities. Never one to use my time wisely, I ran the picture from this site through and these are the results: 61% resemblance to Jennifer Aniston and Amanda Peet. No complaints there. 60% resemblance to Alicia Silverstone. I don't see it at all but I'll take it. 60% resemblance to Julie Andrews. This is where I put on the brakes. It didn't show a 60% resemblance to Julie Andrews in Mary Poppins, it was a 60% resemblance to Julie Andrews circa The Princess Diaries. THE LADY IS 70 YEARS OLD! I couldn't even look at any more results. ...

All Lost junkies had to be blown away by the last episode (and if you don't watch Lost, you're depriving yourself of some quality entertainment). I learned a while back that if you only watch the show, you're probably missing out on half the action. The creators do an amazing job each week of tucking details in the background and intertwining the characters' backstories. It's too much for the average viewer to catch so you have to enlist the aid of the uber-fans in the newsgroups/discussion boards. I swear, some of these people are nuclear physicists analyzing the show frame-by-frame and presenting complex ...

It's Open Trackback Friday (more information about it can be found here) My requests: 1) One link per site each week, please 2) Since this is called the OPEN Trackback Alliance, I'm not too keen on the OTA members who censor the links they'll accept based on content. So if you're an OTA member who won't publish links because the post contains profanity, differing political beliefs, etc. I'd rather you didn't participate in my OTA post. 3) Please link to posts that contain actual content written by you- that means no other OTA posts or articles comprised primarily of someone else's work. TrackBack URI: http://jenee.net/ota-2/trackback Copy and paste this link: <a href="http://jenee.net" target="_blank">Comedian Jenée: People are Idiots </a> Today's Blogs To Check Out: [tags]trackbacks, ...

Open Trackback Alliance I'm now an official member of the Open Trackback Alliance (keep reading- it's even geekier than it sounds). What that means is every Friday I will publish a post that anybody can trackback to with their own post and have a link and excerpt for it displayed on the front page of my blog almost instantly. The purpose is two-fold: 1) To showcase people's best recent posts and 2) To exchange links, which increases both sites' search engine visibility and traffic. What I've found is that the sort of people who participate in this exchange tend to have very well-written blogs (even if some of their political views make my skin crawl. But that's beside the point). ...