I figure I should start the new year out right by writing a post to my blog that it probably appeared I'd abandoned. I'm going to blame my absence on the Facebook status update, which is really a much easier way to vent my frustrations. In the time since my last post, the four year anniversary of my blog came and past. One thing that hasn't changed in four years is that I still think people are idiots. In fact, they seem to be getting better at it. One annoyance I've been dealing with involves my phone. I had to buy a new one a couple months ago and it's been one hassle after another ever since. Just to give you ...

[caption id="attachment_1325" align="alignleft" width="150" caption=""It's just a flesh wound." I'm not sure if it was Monty Python or an HMO who made that call."][/caption] I think it's time for me to finally weigh in with my expert opinion on the health care issue. I'm comfortable calling myself an expert on the topic because it's evident that a person doesn't need to know anything about the facts of the proposed health care to be considered an authority. And actually, the crazier you sound and the more wildly you distort the facts, the better your ...

[caption id="attachment_1282" align="right" width="150" caption=""This is a fucking rock 'n' roll show, not a tea party. You listen to Coldplay on your own fucking time!""][/caption] I'm a little slow in recapping Tuesday night's show at the Forum because the intense contact high from massive amounts of weed is just wearing off. The scent is to be expected at a concert for a band who derived their name from smoking bud all day but the kids really outdid themselves in their pot consumption for Green Day's final U.S. tour stop. The evening got off ...

[caption id="attachment_1249" align="alignleft" width="150" caption="I pimped out my ride for the occasion."][/caption] Phoenix was the second stop on my whirlwind Green Week tour. About 30 seconds after I arrived at the venue I ran into one of the guys I'd talked with in line and on the floor at the San Diego show (so I'm not the only Green Day stalker--one woman told me she'd been to 12 Green Day concerts just this summer)! I was immediately embarrassed that I was wearing mostly the same outfit I'd worn to the previous show until I noticed he still had his wristband on, a clear indication that ...

[caption id="attachment_1217" align="alignleft" width="150" caption="Billie Joe Armstrong tells the crowd, "This isn't tv. Get on your fucking feet.""][/caption][caption id="attachment_1218" align="alignright" width="150" caption="Then he proceeds to sit down."][/caption] My Green Week tour kicked off in San Diego last night. I arrived early to find the General Admission Floor line was already about 500 deep. As I took my place at the end, a girl walked up to her friends in front of me and said she'd accidentally bought an extra ticket (idiot count: 1) and "that's a ...

Anybody who knows me well knows I love Green Day. Except my mom, who recently said she'd never heard of them (even though she claims to read my blog) and when I played a couple of their most famous tunes on my phone, she just shrugged. So now I'm left wondering if I should even have someone like that in my life. But I digress. I like Green Day so much that a day just isn't enough. I need a Green Week, which I'm about to have as I hit up their concerts in three cities. The first stop is San Diego then I'll go directly to Phoenix where my sister's ...

[caption id="attachment_1160" align="alignleft" width="150" caption="Beachfront at the Grand Hyatt Kauai"][/caption] [caption id="attachment_1161" align="alignleft" width="150" caption="At this point, I'm about 95% pina colada."][/caption] [caption id="attachment_1168" align="alignright" width="150" caption="Yet another endangered species murder/suicide."][/caption] I've been the worst blogger ever lately. That's due in part to the fact that I've spent most of the last month working on my tan in Florida and Hawaii. Look at these shots from Kauai- what could I possibly find to gripe ...

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="99" caption=""Bite me Alan Lambert""][/caption] Over the last week, I've come across multiple articles (and a South Park nod) about some 47-year-old, unemployed spinster named Susan Boyle who auditioned for the show Britain's Got Talent. I finally had to see what the hype's about and I have to say it's well deserved. The top YouTube clips (which have amassed a ming-boggling 70 million hits in just two weeks) don't allow embedding but it's worth clicking the link to watch her rendition of "I Dreamed A Dream." It makes me realize it's never too late to achieve your dreams and there's still a chance ...

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="303" caption="Maybe Jason is reconsidering his third choice, Jillian."][/caption] Of course I have to comment on the "most dramatic finale ever" of The Bachelor. Just to recap what I've written about recent seasons of The Bachelor/ette: first we had Brad Womack, the tool who told the final two contestants that he could see each of them as his wife then he proceeded to dump both of them in the end. So then reject Deanna Pappas got her "second shot at love" and her final two choices were crazy snowboarder Jesse and divorced father Jason. She ...

In case you're a little behind on the gossip rags... the night before the Grammy's, singers Chris Brown and girlfriend Rihanna got into a squabble resulting in both of them backing out of scheduled performances at the ceremony. A few days later, the photo on the left was leaked showing that Rihanna suffered facial injuries in the incident. A month later comes word that Rihanna and Chris are back together. WHAT???? It sounds like Chris was one right hook shy of knocking some sense into her. While I'd probably be out the door if a guy even yelled at me, I sort of ...

For the first time in eight years, I watched the Academy Awards live from a vantage point away from the Kodak Theatre. And now I remember why so many attendees spend most of the night at the bar-- that is one boring show. Some thoughts on the Oscars: -- Judging by Reese Witherspoon's black eyes and ragged dress, it appears that Chris Brown already has a new girlfriend. --I wonder who wore the sheet with the higher thread count: Jessica Biel or Tilda Swinton. I hope they were smart enough to bring along the ...

I had a change of plans and won't be returning to the Oscars this year but I did watch all of the Best Picture nominees (clocking in at a total of almost 11 hours) so of course I have to weigh in. I haven't given away any spoilers so it's safe to read if you haven't seen the films. Slumdog Millionaire: Since I tend to be disappointed by films with too much hype, I decided to start with the favorite just to get it out of the way. The story unfolds like a grim Forrest Gump, in which the extraordinary events of a young man's past provide him with the answers ...

Every May when the winner of American Idol is announced, I swear it's the last season I'll watch this piece of garbage. Then January rolls around and it somehow ropes me back in. I lose a part of my soul with every season and I fear that if I keep watching, by season 12 I'll be laughing at prop comics and attending Celine Dion concerts with a fanny pack around my waist. This year, the show is back with a fourth judge, Kara Dioguardi, whose name Simon still can't pronounce correctly. I'm used to people butchering my name and I rarely ...