Every so often I discuss one of the crappy shows I watch (namely American Idol and The Bachelor) and I start out with a disclaimer of sorts. I feel I have to in case somebody missed a previous disclaimer and thinks, "She watches that garbage and thinks she can talk about other idiots?" It therefore seems important to acknowledge that I know these shows are crap but on some level they entertain me. So allow me right now to explain my interest in The Bachelor.
I don't watch it because I give a damn about two people falling in love. I watch it because I get a sick kick out of seeing four or five people fall in love- all with the same person (and often, they're halfway to love before they've even met him).
The whole show is a testament to how phony people are. They plop a dozen or so women who all instantly have the hots for the same guy into one house. Then the ladies pretend to be happy when someone else receives an individual date box while they get stuck on a group date. After the dates they ask the girl if she smooched with the guy because nothing helps you get a good night's sleep like hearing about another woman swapping spit with the man you think you love. I suspect the producers don't allow knives in the house.
The early seasons of the show featured fairly regular guys who seemed like good catches. Then they started bringing in the fantasy types: the heir to the Firestone tire fortune, a professional football player, an actor and now a prince. Yes, a real live prince. His name is Prince Lorenzo Borghese. Some pope in his family tree bestowed the clan with titles (good to know the Vatican's history of solid family values is steeped in nepotism). Despite his Italian heritage, he was raised in America and managed to avoid the freakish looks that many intermarried royal family members often suffer from.
The fact that he's a prince has brought a new facet to this season. It used to be that the women rattled on about what a great guy the bachelor was. This time, we've witnessed the girls gush about him being a prince and what it would be like for them to be a princess. What do they think it would be like? That they would oversee huge balls sitting on a velvet throne wearing a crown and bustle skirt? I imagine that being the princess for a non-existant monarchy is exactly like not being a princess- except with the word "princess" in front of your name. Princess Jenée. There, that's the whole experience. This bunch doesn't seem to realize the fact that he's a prince isn't what makes him special, it's the fact that he's loaded and hot that does. Let's get our priorities in order.
While the stature of the bachelor has increased over the years, the quality of the women has waned a bit. They used to bring in a nice variety of women with good personalities and legit careers like lawyers or doctors. Now they bring in mostly cookie-cutter types whose vague career titles like "teacher" or "sales representative" often mean "actress." Not that a lawyer is any better than an actress just that the actresses all seem so generic.
A little sampling of this season's offerings:
The Token Black Chick-- Every season has one. She never lasts long but she always makes the first cut, presumably because the guy doesn't want to seem racist. When are we going to get a black bachelor with mostly black women vying for his attention? Twelve black women living together and competing for one man would be sheer entertainment.
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