"This is a fucking rock 'n' roll show, not a tea party. You listen to Coldplay on your own fucking time!"

I’m a little slow in recapping Tuesday night’s show at the Forum because the intense contact high from massive amounts of weed is just wearing off. The scent is to be expected at a concert for a band who derived their name from smoking bud all day but the kids really outdid themselves in their pot consumption for Green Day’s final U.S. tour stop.

The evening got off to a bad start for me. When I purchased the tickets a few months ago, I did so as soon as they went on sale and selected “best available.” The two tickets that popped up appeared to be killer seats just to the side of the stage so I snatched them up but on closer inspection I realized they were actually in the upper section. So I made another attempt and picked up a floor ticket.

A lucky kid sings "Longview."

Because of my Green Week tour, I was a bit slow about unloading the extra tickets so the night before the show I offered them to my brother and his wife and he turned them down. So in the recent past both my brother and sister have declined Green Day tickets, my mom and aunt said they didn’t even know who they were and my two nephews (age 6 and 8) refuse to even listen to any music that isn’t by AC/DC or Alice Cooper. I’m down to my dad, older brother and 96-year-old grandpa as the only hopes left in my family.

I tried hustling the tickets in the parking lot but I’m a horrible salesperson under the best of circumstances and when doors opened I wanted to get a decent spot on the floor so I let them go for a painfully low price but thanks to the Phoenix tickets I sold, I still came out ahead for the week.

Billie Joe (sporting a new orange tuft of hair above the left ear) convinces someone to throw their child over the railing.

Venues always say no cameras allowed but at the San Diego show the security guys said they didn’t really care about little digital cameras just not the fancy professional ones. To be on the safe side, I tucked my camera into my cleavage and had no problem getting past their pat down, which consisted of a finger slide down the sides of the arms and legs. Since I had a seat at the Phoenix show I didn’t bring the camera but I put it in my familiar spot for the L.A. show. I couldn’t believe it when the security lady pressed her hand between my breasts. I was quite literally busted! With no other reasonable hiding places on my body, I had to make the long haul back to my car and settle for taking pictures with my camera phone instead.

I squeezed into a spot about 15 feet from the stage right next to a couple with their 8-year-old son. I warned them that the surge when Green Day took the stage would be really intense so they needed a little barrier around the boy. When the kid heard I’d been to other shows this week, he asked if they played “She.” “She” is an old song they always play but I was surprised he’d even heard of it. It turned out this wasn’t a situation where the parents dragged the kid to the show but the other way around. Needless to say, I rather liked the kid at that point and signed up for security detail on his behalf.

The drunk, horny bunny breaks into "YMCA".

Just as the drunk bunny finished up his set signaling that the show was about to start, two bitches shoved their way through the crowd, knocking into a bunch of us, including the kid. I yelled, “Hey! Watch it!” and one shot a few insults my way. At that point, a sizable amount of my drink may have accidentally spilled on her. Probably noticing that I was a good four inches taller than her, she moved a few paces away from me and then punched me a couple times on the arm. Then she tried to make a dash through the crowd and somehow some of her long hair got caught in my tight hand grip. I know, I know. It was all stupid and immature and I’m not usually the scrapper type but their shoving really pissed me off, especially where Green Day’s mini fan base was concerned.

Obviously I didn't take this picture but I thought Billie Joe's stage dive was too cool not to include it. I love that everybody seems more concerned with getting a picture of him than of actually catching him.

My joy over the little tyke waned as I and a couple others really did seem like we were on duty to protect the kid and I was disappointed that he didn’t want to go onstage for a very cool stunt during “East Jesus Nowhere.” Luckily the family hightailed it after about half an hour and I was able to bounce to my heart’s content.

I was actually satisfied being farther back than I was at the San Diego show because I wasn’t crushed against people. But when a group of guys finished moshing leaving a large gap on the floor that wasn’t filled by the people in front of me, I couldn’t resist a little “Excuse me, please” as I passed them to move forward to within a couple feet of the stage. As I mentioned in the San Diego blog, I watched the end of that show from the back of the pit so it was cool to be up close this time around.

One of the coolest moments was when Billie Joe took a stage dive with his guitar into the crowd, a risky move among a pack of rabid fans. Watching the panicked scurrying of the security team as they got him back up within seconds was rather amusing.

Finale time-- Lights, explosions and a ton of Green Day rolling papers for the crowd.

The show was again mostly the same. I was disappointed that I never got to hear three of my favorite songs off their new album (“Horseshoes and Handgrenades,” “Viva la Gloria!” and “Peacemaker”) but I was thrilled during the L.A. encore that Billie Joe played an acoustic version of “Macy’s Day Parade,” which I never thought I’d hear live.

I figured I should get a picture of it before it disappears along with the pick I got at a Metallica concert and the lei I got at a Depeche Mode concert.

But the absolute coolest moment of my whole tour came after the show ended. Billie Joe had just finished “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)” which is always the last song so I turned to leave when I noticed a commotion from the crowd. Drummer Tré Cool had run back onstage and threw his drumsticks into the crowd. The insane scramble to grab them left about a dozen of us on our butts. As I stood back up, I saw a drumstick underneath me and snatched it up! It’s even got the groove marks on it (which I stupidly thought were teeth marks at first). As exciting as it was at the moment, I later realized it’s just one more piece of crap that I have no use for but can’t throw away. Maybe someday my nephews will wise up and appreciate Green Day and I’ll pass it on to them after I become that asshole who brings the kiddies to one of their concerts. And I totally would because a Green Day concert is an incredible experience and I would be thrilled to be able to share it with them.

My Green Day photo album (more pics and videos to come soon).

© Jenée for Comedian Jenée: People are Idiots, 2009. |
Permalink | Leave a comment | Subscribe to this post's comments