Every May when the winner of American Idol is announced, I swear it's the last season I'll watch this piece of garbage. Then January rolls around and it somehow ropes me back in. I lose a part of my soul with every season and I fear that if I keep watching, by season 12 I'll be laughing at prop comics and attending Celine Dion concerts with a fanny pack around my waist. This year, the show is back with a fourth judge, Kara Dioguardi, whose name Simon still can't pronounce correctly. I'm used to people butchering my name and I rarely ...