Sticky Buns

A 20-year-old was found by a Wal-Mart employee in the bathroom Sunday night after he sat down and was glued to the toilet seat.

(Full story)

Where do I start with this one? I guess with the lesson every parent should teach their kids: Don’t put your bare ass on a public toilet. If the guy had placed the paper cover on the seat, he would have noticed that it didn’t fall right into the bowl as seat covers are prone to do thus bringing to his attention that something was amiss. But apparently he felt confident that people looking to save an extra nickel on Top Ramen have the sort of defecation habits that don’t necessitate the use of protective covers. Or perhaps he’d just eaten some Wal-Mart delectables and had to run to the restroom so fast he didn’t have time to put one down. While I don’t condone vandalizing property, I do see the prank as a sort of “Idiot Identification System” and I encourage all discount shopping chains to add the sticky seat to their bathrooms. And I mean sticky-stuck seats instead of the sticky-yuck seats they currently have.

1 Comment

  1. Alternatively, you could just carry a big jug of cooking oil with you on every trip to a public restroom, so you can slowly extricate yourself from any potential superglue traps without needing the assistance of any Walmart toilet monitors. And don’t worry about any snide remarks from the other Walmart shoppers about why you’re bringing a jug of cooking oil into the bathroom with you and not coming out for a long time — heck, they’re the ones who put the glue on the seat, so who are they to talk?

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