Signs Signs Everywhere Signs
I saw this road sign in San Diego this weekend and I wondered what its purpose is. Is it to save a text-happy, unattentive youngster from the same fate as Miss Deaf America? Or is to let people know the kid’s not making gang signs with his hands so don’t shoot him? Let’s face it, a kid in the road is a problem whether they can hear or not. All the sign does is let me know that if the first honk doesn’t work, I shouldn’t bother putting any more wear on my horn.
The sign is only slightly less ridiculous than one I saw in Massachusettes a few years ago that said “Beware of Blind Girl.” Yes, that was the exact phrasing. All I could picture was a maniacal knife-wielding little girl screaming, “If I find any of you I’m going to kill you!!!” Then trying to trick some people with “Marco…?” What a waste of taxpayer dollars. I figure anybody who needs advance warning to escape the homicidal blind girl deserves to die.
Then there are some highway signs in Tucson that measure distances in kilometers. Apparently Tucson received the memo 20 years ago that America was switching to the metric system but somehow didn’t receive the memo two days later saying, “Nobody can figure this metric stuff out so we’re switching back.” Or maybe they did and said, “But we already made the signs…”
Finally, a few weeks ago I saw a banner on an Albuquerque freeway that said “Celebrate the Interstate.” I imagine the city council meeting that resulted in that decision went something like this:
Chairman: Ok people. We need to give the people of this town something to take pride in. Any ideas?
Council Member #1: How about a big sports star?
Chairman: We don’t have any.
Council Member #2: Famous actors from Albuquerque?
Chairman: None.
Council Member #3: Great scientific achievements?
Chairman: You do realize this is Albuquerque, right?
Council Member #4: Historic landmarks?
Chairman: Such as?
Council Member #4: Good point.
Chairman: Any other ideas?
Council Member #5: This might just be the weed talking, but how about the interstate?
Everybody: That’s a great idea! Awesome! This will be the best party this town has ever seen!
To the citizens of Albuquerque let me say that if you reach the point that you’re partying in honor of a road, maybe it’s time to hit an AA meeting. Or get a job. Or load up your belongings, fill your gas tank and leave because that is a sad little town indeed.
9 Responses to “Signs Signs Everywhere Signs”
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Well, here in Massachusetts we are well known for our viscious feral packs of roaming blind children…
Could you elaborate please? I didn’t think anybody would consider the ridicule of public officials “off limits.” (Or is it the city of Albuquerque I need to stay away from)?
Ways to leave Albuquerque? Woohoo, celebrate the interstate!
I too wonder how you could use so much of your wit and sarcasm on the blind girl joke. She is not going to see the humor in your writing.
Be careful, some things are worthy of your wit, cynicism, sarcasm, and humor. Alas, this one is not.
Okay - elaborating…
The blind/deaf signs actually serve a purpose. Any parent with a child who is blind or deaf can request one. They are all over the country. With road rage being so out of control the signs just might slow someone down, make them think twice about zooming through a neighborhood in which there is a child who either can’t hear a car approaching or hear a horn sound, or who might step into a street not realizing he/she has wandered into an unsafe area. And before you are tempted to ask “where the hell are the parents” - i couldn’t agree more, however, kids, being who they are, will escape parental supervision at times. Hence the signs.
I’m not against special assistance for special needs children. I just really don’t think the sign for the deaf child serves any useful purpose (the blind child sign does but it should have been reworded). ANY person who steps onto a street with traffic needs to be carefu,l whether they’re a child or adult, handicapped or not. And even in the unlikely event the sign actually slows down a driver, if there’s a kid in the road it’s irrelevant whether or not that kid can hear- you don’t plow into him.
i was wondering where you saw this sign i think it is so funny i wear hearing aides and i would like to get a picture with this sign do you remember what street you were on when you took this picture
It was somewhere in Pacific Beach near San Diego. I don’t know the name of the street but it’s the main drag just before the beach. Glad you got a kick out of it like I did.
Albequerque is not a town for one, and it is basicly becomeing a city of violance because all the gang members are moving to ALBQ. from California becuase ALBQ. doesn’t have a law that it is illegal to recruit people into gangs like Cali. does.
So leave from the crime, not the signs.
John Aston