It’s been all over the news: some Taylor University students were in a car accident and the wrong girl was buried. Ok, that’s not quite right. That would be an even bigger screw up than what happened if they’d buried the girl who survived. It was the identities of the two girls that were mixed up. Laura Van Ryn and Whitney Cerak bore a strong resemblance and obviously both suffered major injuries to the face. One died, one lived. Believing the dead girl was Whitney, Whitney’s family buried the body. Meanwhile, the girl they thought was Laura was actually Whitney and she was alive in a hospital wondering “Who the fuck are all these people in my room?” Seriously- the family kept a blog and on May 26th Laura’s mom wrote:
As far as recognizing us… we think that sometimes she does, and sometimes she doesn’t. Today she was asking for “my Dad” by name and when he went over to her and held her hand, she was satisfied to have him there.
In hindsight you realize Whitney probably wasn’t satisfied but was actually creeped out by this strange man grabbing her hand.
Well, today they exhumed Laura’s body and I’m trying to figure out why. First let me say that I’m not a fan of burial. It seems incredibly selfish to have your rotting flesh occupy a plot of land for all eternity (or at least until a real estate developer decides to move you to a landfill to make room for a mini mall). But that’s the way a lot of religions say it has to be so that’s how people will do it. Since the point of a burial plot is- I thought- to be a “final resting place” maybe they shouldn’t be messing with her nap. I understand that’s the way you piss off poltergeist.
Obviously Laura’s family wants to give her a proper memorial but what do they need the casket for? Are they planning a viewing? Any open casket funeral is a bit disturbing. Everybody thinks the same thing: “Omigod! (sob) I can’t believe she’s dead (sob) and man she looks freaky. What’s with the blue eyeshadow (sob)?” But a viewing five weeks later for a girl they couldn’t properly identify at the time has to be a ghastly sight (and admittedly, one I’d be curious to see). I know that won’t be the situation so I wonder if the family exhumed the body to move it closer to them. Do people really think talking to a plot of grass in a cemetery is any different than talking to a plot of grass in their back yard? Or that it really matters if the body is placed next to dead ancestors? If the body wasn’t buried according to their particular beliefs, I can respect that and understand why they would redo it. But really, when it comes to dropping a box in the ground, how much difference is there likely to be? I don’t know why they did it and will just have to hope that question will be answered when the story becomes a movie of the week this fall.
Just Me wrote:
I can unserstand some of your comments in reference to the burial. But I can also understand the Vanryn family wanting to make this “right”. The misidentification of the girls should have never taken place. The wrong family grieved over the wrong body and Laura’s famiy needs to do whatever they need to do to get closure with this aweful mess, even if that means exhuming the body and moving it to the home town for reburial. I sincerely doubt that they will have a viewing at this point since her memorial was this past weekend. This whole thing is an emotional nightmare and a logistic mess. Think about it. The wrong family paid for a funeral, maybe even had a life insurance policy paid out. The wrong family has been financially responsible for medical costs that I am sure are nearly catastrophic. All of these issues are going to take a long while to clear up long after the exhumation, reburial and Whitney’s discharge.
Kristi wrote:
The whole thing is more than freaky. I hope they find some semblance of normalcy again.
liz wrote:
None of the funerals for this tragic accident had open caskets, so why would you think they would now? The family of Laura VanRyn will have a private burial. There is no need to make this more than it is. Let the poor families be. They have enough to get through and deal with. They do not need people be sarcastic about their joys and losses.
Jenée wrote:
I am letting the families be. I didn’t post my comments on their blog, I posted them on mine. And I’m not making more of it than it is. I’m always curious about things I don’t understand and I don’t understand the point of digging up a box- which is all anybody’s going to see- then sticking it back in the ground again. I’m just trying to figure it out.
As for Just Me’s comments about costs the families incurred: I would be mighty surprised if they don’t end up at least a little bit richer when all is settled. And of course I understand that Laura’s family needs closure, I just don’t see how looking at a box accomplishes that.
liz wrote:
ok Thank you. Sorry if I sounded a bit upset. It is just that it is everywhere and these poor families can not get away from it. And everyone is entitled to say their feelings. I agree with you that just looking at the box won’t accomplish much, but as a parent that lost her only child it is the fact of just knowing they are at peace and comfortable and in God’s hands now. And burying their child will let them have some sort of peace. The familes are also from 2 different communities that are a few hours apart. The VanRyn family just wanted their daughter closer to them. Once again I am sorry for jumping to conclusions and Thank you!
Just Me wrote:
I guess for them, it will bring closure. They truly deserve that-however it may come.
Nicole wrote:
oooooh myyyyyyyy gaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd!
*speechless*
Nancy Bauman wrote:
I think you are the idiot here. How dare you judge these poor people, you have no idea what they must have been going through nor how you would react if you thought it was your daughter. If you have the right to your fucked up opinion, than so do I. God bless America. I can only hope that the VanRyns’ and the Ceraks ‘never ever read the things you wrote.
Jenée wrote:
You sound awfully angry at me for wondering about something that doesn’t make sense to me. I’m very open to the possibility the family had a good reason for exhuming the body: maybe Laura requested to be buried in a certain place or she wanted her body wrapped in a particular outfit. A classmate of mine died in a car accident my junior year of high school and was buried with the cordless phone she loved (BTW- it was open casket). I didn’t pass judgment on anybody in my post, I just wondered aloud why it was so important to disturb this girl’s grave. I don’t think it’s “fucked up” to be curious about things I don’t understand.
As for the families ever reading my post, what would be so awful about it? Perhaps Laura’s father would be upset to read the line about Whitney being creeped out when he touched her. But a strange man grabbing your hand and claiming to be your dad would be uncomfortable at best for any woman. It’s not a commentary on him, it’s a reflection of the situation. I did voice my opposition to the burial process but I think I gave a reasonable explanation as to why it bothers me. Beyond that, I didn’t disparage the dead girl or her family. I simply posed some questions.
Nancy wrote:
I guess by responding to your comments makes me the idiot, but I just can’t resist at this point. You are entitled to express your feelings on something you don’t understand, however, your words were insensitive and callus. I have been following this story from the beginning and I don’t understand how you could stand vigil at someone’s bedside for 5 weeks and not know it’s not your daughter but the fact is they did not. I also don’t believe in being 6 feet under. Do not put me in a box in the ground. I do understand why they would want her exhumed and brought closer to where they live if that’s what they choose. After what can only be described as an endless mind-fuck, I would have to see for myself that indeed, this is my child and now maybe just maybe they can find some peace. I guess you are good for something, unlike my feelings for you earlier today. You get people thinking and talking about sensitive subjects. I had not even known who you were before today and did not like the words you chose to describe your take on this very tragic situation. I will admit, however I AGREE with alot of what you said, just not how you chose to say it.
Jinty wrote:
I’m sorry but living in Scotland I don’t know anything about this story. It sounds pretty horrific and I intend to find out more, so thanks for bringing it to my attention. What I did want to comment on though was the whole burial thing. Jenee I am totally with you on this. I don’t have a *religion* thing and as far as I am concerned, put me out for the refuse collection on Monday morning and then have the biggest f-off party in my memory. I might even turn up myself!!
ella wrote:
it’s funny that i happened to stumble upon this blog site. i don’t blog. i was just searching for more information on the accident and this came up. but, i felt the need to comment. i have no remarks aabout anything that has been said. as mentioned, everyone is entitiled to their own thoughts and opinions. my question is just that i don’t understand why anyone would be critical of what the families chose to do? chances are none of you have experienced something this tragic, so how can you say what should or shouldn’t happen. there was not a casket at laura’s memorial. the family simply chose to move the casket so they could pay laura respect more frequently. only one family had an open casket at the funeral. i too hope that neither of the families see this blog b/c it does seem very calloused. it hurt me to read these blogs, and i’m just one of laura’s best friends. thank you to all of those that have kept the family in your thoughts and prayers. we miss her more than you know.
Jenée wrote:
I’m going to keep my reply brief because I suspect you left your comment never to return again.
If I sounded critical of the families it’s because none of the reasons I could come up with for their actions made any sense. You claim they did it so “they could pay laura respect more frequently.” Laura can’t hear them, Laura can’t speak to them. Please explain how any respect they pay to her lifeless body changes because of its location. Maybe their reason makes sense to you but it doesn’t to me. It also wouldn’t make sense to me to refuse to ask some questions because a few people thousands of miles away might be a little sensitive to it.