I have been the major slacker blogger lately but with sweeps month ending, I should be a lot better (or not). Before I get to my recaps, I’ll mention that I’ve noticed I seem to have the same reactions each week at the end of most of the shows I watch. They are:

24- “Oh my God!” (often it’s also followed by “I can’t believe they killed…”)

American Idol- “Why do I watch this show?”

The Apprentice- “Moron.”

Lost- “What the hell was that???!!”

CSI- “I gotta stop watching this when I’m eating.”

Survivor- “Morons.”

The Sopranos- (this season) “That sucked.”

Desperate Housewives- “I need to work out.”

Now for the finale recaps:

Lost- I’ll start with the best show on television, Lost. Even though it’s coming back next season (temporarily- seven episodes in the fall then the rest straight through in the winter), I have that same feeling I had after the series finale of Seinfeld. Kind of like, “How will I survive without it???” Honestly, I’d give up every other show if they’d make this two nights a week instead of just one. I’m thrilled they answered some of the major questions (why they crashed, whether entering the numbers is necessary, where Desmond disappeared to, whether the others would learn Michael shot Ana Lucia and Libby and how the map was drawn on the blast door). And of course, I’m stoked they opened up a whole bunch more: Where’s Michael headed and why wouldn’t he be able to return to the island? What’s the deal with Desmond’s girlfriend tracking magnetic activity? As Widmore’s daughter, does she know he’s there? Did Desmond, Locke and Mr. Ecko survive? What’s going to happen to Jack, Kate and Sawyer? Who exactly are the Others? How much weight will Hurley gain on that long walk back? As for the “Lost Experience,” turns out it’s not as easy as following a few clues on television. It takes a team of about 100 scientists to interpret binary codes and crack websites. People are spending a serious amount of time on this. Even though they should probably be working on more important issues like cures for Cancer and global warming, hallelujah to them for devoting their energies to this! (BTW- a great resource for all the clues is http://thelostexperienceclues.blogspot.com)

24- What a closer that was! After three seasons, we finally saw Chloe smile (albeit in a picture) then Jack outright murdered a guy, surely to the cheers of all viewers. He didn’t even do that to Nina when he had the chance and she killed his wife! But Nina’s crimes didn’t compare to Henderson’s; Anybody who kills a guy as gorgeous as Tony Almeida deserves to die a gruesome death…. Did I miss something or did they totally forget about the president’s accomplice with the Bluetooth earpiece? That guy was awesome as Dr. Romano on ER. I was disappointed we didn’t get a little more from him but perhaps he’ll be back… but how? With Jack enjoying a lovely Carnival cruise to China where he’ll be tortured with knives, electric shock waves and the singing and dancing of Kathie Lee Gifford, things aren’t looking good for our favorite saver-of-the-universe. I suspect when we see him next he’ll have been brainwashed by the Chinese government and be working for them. But since he managed to kick his heroin addiction in about two hours, the brainwashing should be a piece of cake to overcome. I just hope Chloe’s transferred to CTU Hong Kong so he can get a little help.

Desperate Housewives- Half the amusement of the episode was picturing Nicollette Sheridan’s face when she received the script for the two hour finale and discovered she wasn’t in it for a second. It’s too bad, actually, as I would have liked to have seen her arrival on Wisteria Lane…. I’d particularly like to thank the writers for the flashback sequences so we could enjoy one more tryst between Gabrielle and young Jesse. He can mow my… hey now… Does a guy who didn’t know he had a kid for 12 years really have to pay back child support? If so, that’s fucked up. If not, Lynette and her hubby are fools. They shouldn’t have given that crack whore a dime.

Grey’s Anatomy- Is Meredith really all that? I mean, she’s got a hot surgeon, a hot vet and an insecure-but-means-well intern all in love with her. I don’t get it. She’s a homely Renee Zellweger ripoff with a Cindy Brady lisp. Ok, that’s catty and I’m sure a lot of people think she’s very pretty. But she’s neurotic and weird too. I know she’s just a character but the writer’s must think she’s something special. I just don’t buy that McDreamy is so enraptured with Meredith over his own stunning wife. Granted, Mrs. McDreamy did cheat on him, but did you see the guy she cheated with? Even Mother Theresa would have tapped that if she had a chance… Where’s the lovin’ for Christina? (Besides what she gets from her incredibly sexy Cardiothorasic surgeon boyfriend). But that’s only one guy. Her character is hilarious and she has the best hair on television. I guess the writers don’t think a smart, funny, independent Asian chick with a bunch of suitors is believable. But they do think having her cry in front of the chief is. Big misstep there. She would never, ever, ever cry in a situation like that… Poor Izzy lost her man but she’s a doctor who’s a former model. She won’t be lonely for long. In fact, she’ll probably be helped out of that prom dress by the second coming of JFK Jr.

Survivor- I thought Cirie was hilarious and once I saw she was really playing the social game, I was rooting for her but I knew she wouldn’t make it to the end. I really liked the hidden immunity idol concept and I’m glad they’re bringing it back next year. Hopefully it will actually be used. Best line of the finale: Right after Aras won the million when Jeff said to him, “Don’t forget to pay your taxes.”

American Idol- I like both Taylor Hicks and Katharine McPhee but I still think Chris Daughtry was robbed! He’s the only contestant who’s ever been on the show who made me feel like I wasn’t a ‘tard for watching it. I think the lack of a catch phrase like “Soul Patrol” and “McPheever” did him in. If he’d only come up with “The Bald Bunch” he might have had a chance. Oh, and my guess for Paula’s blood-alcohold content for the finale: .12%- probably as sober as we’ll ever see her.

The Amazing Race- I think this was the first season when there weren’t any teams in the final three to root against so it was a no-lose situation. I was happy the hippies won though I certainly wouldn’t have minded the frat boys. They cracked me up quite a bit and I loved it when they cancelled the other teams’ taxis (even though it backfired). What can I say? I love funny dirty players.

The Sopranos- I don’t know how many episodes are left until the season’s finale, but they might as well end the show now if this is the best they can do. They had 16 months between seasons and something went terribly wrong in that time. It’s turned into a bunch of 10 second scenes that don’t connect and don’t go anywhere. I know, I know, I should just stop watching it but I’m very loyal. And hopeful. Maybe a bit stupid.