My mom wants to create a “Where’s Waldo” book for my nephew by scanning an actual Waldo page then digitally superimposing my nephew as Waldo. But she’s concerned she could get in trouble for copyright infringement. While I respect the high moralities of my parents, they’re both retired now and I say it’s time to live on the edge a little bit and finally throw caution to the wind: light up a doobie, give a cop the finger, go to a swingers party, get arrested, tell their younger daughter to “fuck off.” You know, do all the things they’ve probably always wanted to do.

When you reach a point in life where your actions can’t really screw your future, why play by the rules? Once you’re in your 60′s there’s no reason a game of “I Never” shouldn’t have you wasted before it’s even your turn. Then when it is your turn, you should be so stumped that you have to get really specific: “I never bungee jumped naked. No wait. I never bungee jumped naked off the Golden Gate bridge. No wait. I never bungee jumped naked off the Golden Gate Bridge while an anti-war march was taking place… in the last decade.” Someone with really fun friends, might even notice one or two take a swig.

If you’re retired and you set an alarm clock in the morning or if you care even the slightest what your credit rating is, you need to hit an after hours rave and shoot up a little heroin with a former child star. Even if you don’t have a great time, at least you’ll have something more exciting than grandkids and HMO’s to talk about at your next dinner party.

(Speaking of Waldo and all kinds of copyright infringements, shortly after Bush ambushed Iraq, I created a “Where’s Saddam?” game. It’s a bit out of date and the quality isn’t great but some games just take you back).