Ways To Get Out Of Prison
There are four jailhouse stories in the news that I have to comment on:
Nine inmates escaped from Wa. jail: They escaped through the ceiling then used bed sheets to get them down the four-story building. I’m not an architect or a security expert, but I’m pretty sure I could figure out a way to keep a person from escaping from my first story unit. That nine “maximum security” prisoners broke out of a jail is unbelievable. Who’s on security patrol? Barney Fife?
Inmates vie for “Miss Penitentiary” title: Seriously- a beauty pageant for inmates. If Trump gets his hands on this one, the “Miss America” pageant could officially be dead (although, I suppose its move to the country channel is already worse than death).
Crips founder/death row inmate was nominated for Nobel Peace Prize: There’s been a lot in the news about the scheduled execution of Crips found Stanley “Tookie” Williams. He killed four people then spent the last 20 years in prison co-writing children’s books about the dangers of gang life. It seems like an odd subject matter to tuck the kiddies in with, “Tommy passed the Crips’ initiation test, but he won’t get to attend many of the group’s ice cream socials. As a result of his two day killing spree, he’ll be spending the next 20 years as Big Daddy’s lil’ bitch. The End. Ok, sleep tight.” I think it’s great when anybody turns a negative into a positive, but a Nobel Peace Prize nomination? A death row inmate should have a better shot at People’s “Sexiest Man Alive” title than a peace prize. I would think one of the criteria for the prize would be “hasn’t killed anybody in cold blood” but I guess they allow up to four murders.
Teacher pleads guilty to having sex with minor and avoids jail time: When it comes to statutory rape cases, I believe there is some grey area extending to about age 16, maybe even 15 in the case of a particularly mature “victim.” But when the potential punishment (15 years) lasts longer than one of the participants has been alive (14 years), that’s statutory rape. All this woman had to do was plead guilty to her crimes and now she’ll do no jail time whatsoever. She’ll serve three years of house arrest and seven years of probation. While I don’t believe the young boy was scarred for life- I’m sure he’s the most popular kid in school for scoring with his hot teacher- I don’t believe in the Christian theory of punishment: all you have to do is admit you were wrong and ask for forgiveness and poof! You’re absolved of your sins. Three years of house arrest? Please. That’s not so different from my chosen lifestyle. But I guess it’s what’s to be expected from the Jeb Bush state these days.
