Comedian Jenée: People are Idiots

Playing With Fire

After writing my last post, I thought of a couple other fire-related incidents I’ve experienced and decided to share:

#1- I was living in my first LA apartment after returning from Hawaii. When I moved in I thought, “Great! I’m right up the street from a fire station.” Then I realized, “Fuck! I’m right up the street from a fire station.” I figure it’s probably similar to the reaction people have when they cheer their proximity to an airport until they realize it’s a bad thing more often than it’s a good thing.

My apartment had new cream carpeting and I took advantage of Hawaiian traditions in requesting that people take off their shoes- everybody. One day there were some repairs being done on the pipes and a couple workers needed to come into my apartment. I saw their filthy boots and requested they take them off. Naturally, they were annoyed but obliged. Of course I felt bad about it (especially since they had to make multiple trips in and out) but I’m sorry, it was cream carpeting.

Later that night, I returned home and as I pulled into my parking space there was something blocking the way. I could see it was some sort of cushion and got annoyed that someone had left it there. I arrived at my apartment to find the door had been busted in. Apparently my cat had knocked over my halogen lamp, which landed on my futon and caused it to smolder. Yeah, turned out the annoying cushion in the parking area was mine. But get this, there was a post-it note on the door that said the fire station that had responded to the call wasn’t the one across the street- it was one about half a mile away. That’s right, because of zoning, the station whose trucks I had to listen to night after night weren’t even the ones who could help me. I was at the mercy of a station that was interrupting someone else’s sleep.

Here’s the real kicker. The next day the workers had to return for more repairs on the pipes. When I opened the door they could see that the walls and floor of the living room were covered in soot. With a sense of satisfaction they asked, “Do we need to take our shoes off?” And all I could do was hang my head down and say, “No.”

#2- This could fall into the category of top ten idiotic moments in my life. A few years ago I was playing chess online in my current apartment. I smelled something burning and saw that the plug was smoking. I immediately thought, “I have to turn off the circuit breaker!” I then thought, “But if I turn off the power, I’ll lose the game!” I’m thoroughly embarrassed to admit that I paused to consider other options before turning off the power.