Online Dating Fiasco
I have to confess, I did something really stupid. I figured I’d give online dating a shot and decided to sign up at Match.com. I paid my non-refundable membership fees and waited for the emails to pour in. Apparently I didn’t read the fine print and it turns out I signed up at misMatch.com. I don’t want my money to go to waste so I’ve decided to make the best of it. Below are the profiles they sent me. Let me know if you think any would suit me.
Bachelor #1
Bachelor #2
Bachelor #3
I’ll take Bachelor #2, thanks Jenee.
What a nice blog
Come and check mine out
Are you admitting that you are at least capable of being an idiot?
Very funny, by the way.
hmmmm…tough choices. My advice would be to choose #1 if your only looking for a short term relationship. But, #2 could be fun taking a roll in the hay and teaching him all the “moves”. Definitely stay away from #3. I don’t think you meet his criteria! LOL!
You could potentially bag wacko jacko. Brilliant
Oh Peeples are such idyots sometimes arent they? Not suggesting you are of course oh Leader of the LOL..maybe a wee bit dyslexic? Now we shalt not call Dyslexics idyots. Ok HOW did you do it?? I’ve been hours hacking-whacking the web for MisMatches.com (no I dont need a life I’m just chronically inclined to hunt down Nutters). O well choice between a Bushy-Chinned Bombah bloke, a Bushy-Chinned polygamist, a Pubescent-Chinned Musical Genius with a bent for Boys….c’mon girl! dont tell me carpet-burn kisses beats killers on the dance floor! u queer or wot?
Sorry I am too busy LMAO to answer, but what the heck. Go with number #1 move up the Al queda network then turn Bin Laden in for a cool 25 mill courtesy of the US government. Great post!
I’m for #2 many an evening could be whiled away playing with his chin hair by candle light.
Wow, those are great. Very funny site. I’ll check back often.
No! No! Dont check back here! This woman is Dr.Evil With a Wig chewin’ on her fake-long-nailed index finger as she plots ways to reduce you to blithering idiot fans (she doin well by Bejeezus). Sace yourselves! Soundproof your heads with six-pack egg cartons. You have been warned.
I’m not sure what to make of your comments, Outloudandproud, but since I know you’ve been reading my blog awhile, I’m going to assume you’re joking and that 1)You know I’m straight and 2)You didn’t actually search the web looking for misMatch.com.
Stay away from number 1. He has a Tnt belt on. 2 is a goober and 3…….. well…wait, never mind.
oh my god all 3 are so irresistable, tough choice
Lol….I guess go with #1 I swear I saw Michael Jackson making out with #2 the other day…so I guess he is taken, or damaged goods
I can’t tell if Outloudandproud is a sociopathic member of your “fan club” or seriously jealous that you eyed the bachelors on “Mismatch.com” first, either way I got a good laugh, thanks
As always too funny. Seriously, back when single, someone bought me a gift certificate for a local “People’s Place” I used it, and I did meet in public three people. Although very nice, they were pretty much like your choices. DATING…sucks. Glad I’m married again. Thanks for more good stories.
hehe…splendid..i couldnt stop laughing..i am sure you are having a tough time deciding which one!
I wouldn’t choose any of them…
Personally i’d rather cut off my own arse and sit in vinegar..
Bachelor #3!!! Think about it…you could marry an international superstar, be famous and rich, and not worry about losing your gorgeous, surgically-enhanced figure, because from the look of your potential future hubby, I’d doubt he wanna sex you up. Eh…a girl could do worse!
Well, I heard the amish are polite. lol
Hey, wait just a ding-dong minute here. These are the same three profiles they sent me! Are these really the last 3 single men on Earth? Now I know what they mean by “all the good ones are taken.”
Keep your hands off my men, girl!
nice site yeah i just made mine like two days ago but yeah…so basically comments would be nice lol thankx
i love your site. i just happened upon it looking at the updated web blogs. i’ll check back again. you’ve cheered up my night!
WoW – You have a terrible decision to make. All 3 bachelors are so desirable.
Bachelor #1 seems to be a classic case of the prejeduced, misinformed.. image of a Muslim.
An humble attempt to dipel the misconceptions.
Thanks so much for making me laugh around this not so funny holiday for those such as I who are single.
Islam: If you’re going to call me misinformed, the least you can do is give me specifics. For the record, I realize Abu Ghraib prison is in Iraq and that there are no beaches to walk along in Afghanistan. So what misinformed statements did I make? Should it be 71 virgins instead of 72? Was that female reporter abducted by a bunch of Lutheran Swedes? Do terrorists prefer step classes to pilates? Teach me.
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeehehehehehe!!! Loved it. What choices you offer, I just can’t decide.
That article reflects the very stereotypical view of Muslims
a) All muslims are bombers and terrorists.
b) Muslim men are all Polygamous.
c) Muslims preach death to Infidels.
I know i cannot blame you having such an opinion, because that is what you see all around you. But you need to dig up facts and get the real picture and not just depend on negative press.
I advice you to visit the nearest Mosque or Islamic Centre for more details.
Here is a good book for Non Muslims towards understanding the basics of Islam.
aww Jenee…how could there have been a shadow of a doubt in your mind that I, with all my sociopathically fanatic charm, wasnt joking?? I meant queer as in “odd” or is that an out-of-print usage? Yes LOL (sheepishly) I confess I did hunt for mismatch.com – (you gonna award me the 1st Prize For IDYOTS?or maybe add me to the list of eligible dates!)Actually a Google search said mismatch.com is coming soon…(still stuck in foreplay?)
Toutes mes félicitations.
J’ai beaucoup ri.
Piensa en mi, quando tienes ganas de chorar.
Very funny. Thanks
Nice Regards
guillermain@blackberry.orange.fr
Quelqu’un qui essaie d’améliorer notre biospère.
Maybe one day you can contribute something positive, instead of making fun of people. I don’t know what’s more pathetic your insensitive jokes or the people who encourage you.
goodgrief some people need to fine-tune their searches; looking for Canonical Gospels and end up at a Stand-Up Comedian site? Show me a SENSITIVE comedian and you’ll probably also be able to sell me seafront property in Kansas. As for Mr. True Call, I reckon its not Jenee who’s guilty of misrepresentation of muslims but bombers like Bachelor #1 who are guilty of misrepresentation of Islam. So there…yah boo!
yay for outloudandproud. i dont see how whtshisname didnt see it himself. maybe he needs glasses.
Frankly I am shocked at the depressingly low turnout of offended readers. Back to the drawing board Jean.
Islam: The profile depicts ONE person who happens to be Muslim. That person also happens to be a man. He’s also 25, Middle Eastern, short, plays raquetball has three wives and he’s a terrorist. It’s not meant to represent all the members of any one of those other groups any more than it represents all Muslims. The popular sterotype isn’t that Middle Eastern Muslim men are terrorists, it’s that terrorists are Middle Eastern Muslim men. Whether or not you want to accept it, it’s a fact that most of the people who carry out activities defined as terroristic fit that description. If this profile had been depicted as a blue-eyed blonde Scandinavian terrorist, there would be no point of reference to connect to readers with.
I understand your desire to defend what I assume is your religion but don’t put false words into my mouth like “all Muslim men are bombers and terrorists” and then call me “misinformed.” Take the profiles for what they are: a humorous depiction of the nightmarish and/or outlandish possibilities of an online dating site. Given the utterly ridiculous response MANY members of the Muslim community have given to a couple of cartoons, I think you’d do better for your religion’s representation by proving some of you have a sense of humor.
I dunno, there’s something suspicious about all three. the way I see them is: #1 would be a good choice for a short-term bisexual experience. You know, for the discerning lesbian who just wants to experiment a little without getting caught. He does however resemble a “done over” Mona Lisa. The concern I have over # 2 is he may have an unknown communicable disease like bird flu or worse. You know, from spending too much time in the barn “discovering himself” with sheep, goats, whatever. And #3? That’s really Joan Rivers disguised as a drag King?/Queen? What the hell is Joan anyway?.
#2 made me hot!
This is hilarious. I think I was a member of MisMatch.com once…but ImperfectMatch is even worse. No, ChemistryNOTcom. Wait, wasn’t that FriendsWithBenefitsFinder.com? Or was it AdultBoinkBuddy.com? Oh, I give up! For more so pathetic real life stories of online dating, visit my blog, http://braindancing.blogspot.com.