Tonight I watched the season finale of The Bachelor, the show that loves to promise “The most dramatic [rose ceremony] [finale] [commercial break] ever!” and rarely delivers. But this time they got me when the bachelor ended up ditching BOTH women in the end. Frankly, I thought it should have been the other way around. The guy is good looking with a killer body and a fat wallet but he has less personality than a booger. And that monotone voice of his would put me in a coma on the first date. In fact, the last few bachelors have been disappointing and when they’re the best a team of casting directors scouring the nation can find, what hope do I have?

I’ve always thought there was something screwed up about the guys who proposed in the end considering they were macking on other chicks just a couple nights before. But there’s something even more screwed up about a guy that declares a woman has every quality he could possibly want in a wife then he dumps her. Perhaps DeAnna just didn’t have that elusive je ne sais penis that so many men are looking for these days.

Luckily I watched the episode in time to learn that a follow-up episode was airing tonight, which I caught as well. Clearly the two women have completely given up as they both appeared in shapeless sack dresses. That’s not the way to rub a guy’s nose in the fact that he screwed up. The way you rub someone’s nose in something is to utter a phrase like host Chris Harrison did when he said to Jenni, “You took a huge leap of faith when you said you loved him and he rejected you” to which she responded matter-of-factly, “Yeah, I know that.” It could only have been better if she’d said, “No duh, you prick.”

I will give bachelor Brad a little credit for being brave enough to appear before an audience full of angry women and it took real balls for him to proclaim that he was as hurt as anybody by what happened. He should probably thank the top notch security at ABC studios that he didn’t end up with a shiv in his throat or a compact to the noggin after that comment. I wonder if you have to go to Mexico to get that kind of clueless pill or if Jessica Simpson has her signature line available on QVC?

In the end, two great girls were left miserable by a lousy dude. Twenty bucks says he’ll be the one to fall in love first.

Tags: , abc, bachelor, brad, chris harrison, deanna, jenni, jenny, the bachelor