Oct

NBC’s “Joey”

Last season I was totally addicted to Joey. Seriously. How could I not be? They brought in the best comedy writers, the best casting directors and a star from one of the most popular sitcoms of all time and created what is probably the most unfunny piece of drivel to ever air on a prime-time network (and I make this declaration even having seen a couple episodes of Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza). I repeat, in all honesty, I watched Joey every week. My fascination with it is not just comparable to seeing a car wreck on the side of the road; It’s a car wreck with the decapitated heads of Madonna and Michael Jackson strewn about and a desperate George Clooney begging to plant his seed before he dies. The only way I could take my eyes off this scene would be if a vital George Clooney was begging to plant his seed and even then, I’d want to stay nearby and snap a few pics with my camera phone.

Having been on the road, I missed the first few episodes this season but finally caught the last show. And apparently, A LOT has happened. From what I gather, Joey had sex with his bland-as-bouillon neighbor (as the actress must have also done with the casting director, since there’s no other explanation for her presence on a sitcom). The last I knew, her character was married- has Thursday night turned into “Must See Adultery?” Then I saw something very unfamiliar next to a Friends alumnus: it was this animated, dark creature, I believe they refer to as an “African American.” After 10 years of not even sitting near a black person at Central Perk, Joey’s suddenly got a brother in his living room? Soon it’s clear life hasn’t totally changed for Joey when he tries to buy Betty White’s house and, on the doorstep, he introduces his sister and fake baby, but completely ignores his dark-skinned new buddy standing right there. Apparently the message they’re sending to the kids is that you can’t buy your dream house if you associate with black people.

They’ve even made Drea D’Matteo, who was fabulous on the Sopranos, seem like a talentless amateur. I can only imagine that she’s hoping her character will meet the same fate as on the Sopranos so she can resurrect her once-promising career. The usually hilarious Jennifer Coolidge manages to squeak out the only rare moments of humor as Joey’s agent but usually she’s reduced to silly mugging for the camera. Or maybe she’s just wincing every time she has to say one of her godawful lines.

I can’t help but admire the risks the writers take. Not only do they dare to present slapstick situations that were long ago rejected by Gilligan’s Island, but they go so far as to repeat the same bad jokes. I just can’t get enough of that wacky neighbor tossing the nephew’s cereal in his face! And what about Betty White asking where Joey is while an enormous dog mauls him only five feet behind her? Comedy like that is gold, Jerry, gold, I tell you.

I don’t know how long Joey will remain on the air, but I do know it will not be forgotten. It will be mentioned years from now on shows like E! True Hollywood Story followed by statements like “then she turned to booze and drugs” and “that’s when he decided to take his own life.” I know I could choose to retain my artistic integrity and only watch brilliant comedies like Arrested Development, but if I ever plan to work the Deep South again, watching Joey is just the sort of preparation I need.