Jun
05

Not Tonight Dear, My Head’s About To Explode

Posted in Blog, Corporate Idiots, Daily Life

I started getting migraine headaches about a year or two ago and I strongly suspect it’s from long hours on the laptop. A few months ago, I finally bought Excedrin’s migraine pain reliever. Just the fact that I finally had some medication available seemed to stop the migraines from coming for awhile then I got one this morning.

I’m not too big on pills and remedies so before taking any I read the label just to make sure there wouldn’t be any severe side effects. I don’t need a little erectile dysfunction ruining my day. I found the label quite curious. One section says, “Ask a doctor before use if you have…”:

A migraine so severe as to require bed rest- Anybody who’s ever had a migraine knows that when you get one, you won’t be heading to aerobics class that day. If there is any possible way you can swing it to be tucked in bed with the covers pulled over your head, you’ll do it.

The worst headache of your life- Since the typical migraine registers about a 10.5 on the pain scale, it’s kinda hard to tell when one is worse than another.

Experienced your first headache after the age of 50- It doesn’t specify “migraine headache” like it does throughout the package, it just says headache and I wonder what sort of super human being has never had a headache before age 50. It could only be someone who never went to school, never worked, never had a relationship and never sat at a table next to a screaming six-month-old. Someone living in Utopia.

Despite the fact the Excedrin people sounded rather clueless on the box, they know their stuff when it comes to drugs and the pain went away. So now I’m back on my laptop working on my next migraine.


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6 Responses to “Not Tonight Dear, My Head’s About To Explode”

  1. timethief on June 6th, 2006 12:00 am wrote:

    Migraine prevention strategies that work for me:
    (1) give up coffee, tea and anything else you ingest that has caffeine in it;
    (2) always book one less appointment than you can actually cope with in any day of the week;
    (3) when anyone comes to you with a problem of theirs to solve after 3:00 PM in the afternoon make sure they leave with it and don’t leave “it” with you;
    (4) write down all the people and things that piss you off as they occur on a “howl list” (see my blog for details), and howl at least once monthly preferably on the full moon but more frequently as required;
    (4) exercise outdoors for at least 1/2 hour (walking will do it) every evening before showering and going to bed;
    (5) use a hand held shower massage head focused particularly on the neck and shoulder areas (n.b. for anyone who sits in front of a computer screen for hours on end this is a must do) before going to bed;
    (5) consult an aromatherapist, purchase some essential oils and use them as required;
    (6) never talk to your mother or your spouse about either visiting your family or his or about money in the evening hours;
    (6) turn your answering machine on 1 and 1/2 hours before going to bed and turn the volume down so you won’t be tempted to “screen” calls and ignore the &^%$ thing until after you have eaten breakfast the next morning;
    (7) use the contents of your howl lists as themes for your comedy comedy routines.
    Keep your girls up ^^ and keep smiling :) because I’ve never met a slow witted person who suffers from migraines.

  2. Jenée on June 7th, 2006 12:00 am wrote:

    Thanks for the advice but I’m not sure they’ll work for me.

    1) Give up caffeine? Not gonna happen any time soon.
    2) One less appointment per day would often put me in the negative.
    3) Most of my days start around 3 pm. Doesn’t leave a big window.
    4) That’s mostly what I use the blog for. But writing down EVERY time someone pisses me off would occupy all the time when they’re not pissing me off. It would also be a little awkward in the middle of our conversation to say, “Hang on, I gotta write this down.”
    Second 4) A little walk around the block at 4 am probably isn’t a great idea.
    5) I have a hand held shower massage. Never thought about using it on those body parts.
    Second 5) (Interesting numbering system you got there) I’ve tried various aromatherapies. They turned out to be expensive oils that did nothing.
    6) I like my parents- discussing visits isn’t a bad thing for me.
    Second 6) My general ringtone is a silent one. Only good friends and family get their own ringers and if they’re calling me around my bedtime, it’s important.
    7) I do. I do.

  3. Navin on June 17th, 2006 12:00 am wrote:

    I’ve tried all kinds of mirgraine meds. Another thing that works pretty good is the Tylenol rapid release gel. It’s a good option if you want to avoid taking a lot of Aspirin (present in the Excedrin).

    Also caffeine is a big part of both Excedrin and Tylenol. So caffeine is . gooood.

  4. Charlie Currie on June 23rd, 2006 12:00 am wrote:

    I get headaches from reading the small print on the side of the headache medication boxes.

  5. Charlie Currie on June 23rd, 2006 12:00 am wrote:

    Wasn’t Idi Amin the President of Utopia? Whatever happened to him?

  6. Carlotta on July 8th, 2006 12:00 am wrote:

    I read your article and thoroughly enjoyed it. Then I came to the end and where there are the click links, sure enough there is one that reads “Migraine Prevention Medications May Reduce Number of Migraine Headaches”. Really? Is that what I have been taking them for? :|

    Smiles,
    Carlotta


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