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Just Jenée

When I started out in standup, I used my first and last names on stage. Then I had a few incidents with creepy guys that made me think I shouldn’t. So I figured until I hear about another Jenée in the business, one name will do. Kinda like Madonna or Cher or God.

Over the years, when people have asked what my last name is, I’ve declined to tell them. Not because it’s a big secret but because people always say, “You won’t tell me? Whatever, I really don’t care.” And then they go to great lengths to try and find out what it is. So I withhold the information out of sheer amusement.

A comic I play poker with kept harping on about it until one night another guy said it was “Minkman.” I have no idea where he came up with that but I found it interesting because my grandfather was a furrier. For the next year, everybody in the game referred to me as “Minkman” before the first guy finally learned that wasn’t my real name.

One time at a friend’s party, a different guy was going crazy because I wouldn’t tell him my name- he was borderline hostile. A little while later, my friend Courtney pulls me aside and says, “Listen, the guy was really harassing me so I told him your name. Don’t be mad at me, you’ll probably never see him again.” Well, I was a bit annoyed because it wasn’t her business to tell him when she knew I didn’t want him to know.

Sure enough, the guy comes over to me and he can’t contain this newfound knowledge. He starts dropping hints about knowing my name. But I didn’t get what he was talking about. Pretty soon he says, “Dachau…Dachau…” I still didn’t get it. Finally he says, “Look, I know. It’s cool, she told me you’re sensitive about having the last name Auschwitz.”

Apparently he didn’t notice the beer spew out of every orifice in my head or the fact that I was doubled over in laughter, because he refused to believe me when I said that wasn’t my name. Auschwitz?! HA HA HA!

Since Auschwitz doesn’t quite suit me, I’m sticking to one name for now but if I ever do use a last name on stage it will probably be “Sequoi.” Doesn’t that have a catchy ring to it? Jenée Sequoi. I figure people would see me perform and think, “That girl has a certain…..something. I don’t know what.”

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