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Hopelessly Lost

I’ve officially joined the ranks of major Lost geeks. I’d heard that the producers were going to reveal insights to the island’s mysteries over the summer in something called “The Lost Experience,” and they began with a commercial during last night’s episode. I called the number from the commercial and transcribed the whole phone tree (which I pasted below). Yes, I’m a dork.

But first, some comments/questions on last night’s episode:

I think that might have been the best show ever! One shocker after another.

The episode was titled, “Two For The Road.” Pretty funny considering the two characters who went down were the ones arrested in real life for DUI’s on the same night.

Are either or both women dead? I hope not and I doubt it. There’s still unfinished business as far as Libby’s apparent stay in the mental institution with Hurley. Ana Lucia’s kind of annoying but she was growing on me. I felt cheated that we didn’t get to see more of the hot sex with Sawyer. Though, I really couldn’t enjoy it anyway since I kept thinking, “Did they use a condom?” Even if she’s not worried about diseases (and after Sawyer’s admission several weeks ago of catching something in Talahassee, she should be), does she want to get pregnant out there? Loved the post-sex comments: Ana Lucia- “If you tell anybody about this, I’ll kill you.” Sawyer- “I guess that means cuddling is out.”

It seemed that Michael shot Libby by accident, but why Ana Lucia? Is it a means of getting Walt back? And after shooting himself in the shoulder, will he let “Henry” go? They better not kill Henry any time soon- I love that creepy guy.

Doesn’t anybody on this show make a sound when they’re shot? Shannon, Libby, Ana Lucia. At the very least, I’d expect a “Fuck you (gurgle ack phht).”

I’ll feel bad for Hurley if Libby dies- what are the chances he’ll ever find another woman who’s attracted to him? Oh wait, he’s loaded back home (unless the lottery win is also imaginary…?)

Who’s going to turn out to be Jack’s sister? The woman resembled Claire but seemed a bit young to be her mother. And will Jack ever learn that Ana Lucia travelled to Australia with his dad?

Ok. I know I’m just talking to myself here. But damn I love this show.

Transcription of messages at 1-877-hansoorg:

(Woman’s Voice): “The Hanso Foundations, reaching out to a better tomorrow. If you know your party’s extension you may enter it now.”

(Music in another language plays while the calls are transferred. There’s an English ad that says, “Post your resume on Monster.com you’re twice as likely to…” and the messages are prefaced with, “Welcome to Verizon’s voice messaging service.” I guess ABC realized they could make more money advertising real companies).

EXT 1- General Information-

(Woman’s voice): “The Hanso Foundation is located at 544 ??? BK 1604 Cophenhagen V and on the world wide web at thehansofoundation.org. Here you can read about our diverse programs, view our television advertisement, get to know our executives and catch up on recent company news. Thank you for your interest in the Hanso Foundation. Namaste.”

EXT 2- Alvar Hanso-

(Woman’s voice): “You’ve reached the office of Alvar Hanso, President and CEO of the Hanso Foundation.”
(Different woman’s voice with a bit of an echo, like she’s on speaker phone across the room): “Where is Alvar Hanso? What have they done with him? Who is in charge here?”
Disconnects

EXT 3- Thomas Mittelwerk-

(Man’s voice): “You’ve reached the office of Dr. Thomas Mittelwerk, Senior Vice President, COO and Chief Technologist of the Hanso Foundation. I will be unreachable for the next three weeks however for those employees of Paik Heavy Industry and Widmore Corporation engaged in active projects I will be continuously updating the confidential information line. Please refer to your project manual for hotline access instructions. Thank you and namaste.”

EXT 4- Hugh Mcintyre-

(Man’s Voice): “Hi, this is Hugh McIntyre, VP and Communications Director of the Hanso Foundation. I’ll return to the office in two weeks. If you’re calling about the inquiry into our Korean offshore project, please hang up and contact our legal department. To hear more information about Joop, the world’s oldest orangutan, please refer to our website, thehansofoundation.org. Thank you and namaste.”
(Automated female voice): “Message one:” (Mail voice): “Hugh, Thomas. Just got the changes. Good work. We should go ahead and rename the accelerated remote training facility as well. We’ve got to try and put a public face on all this. Call me.”
(Automated female voice): “Message two:” (Female voice): “Hugh, it’s Starla- I need to talk to you about Sri Lanka. This just isn’t right.”
(Automated female voice): “End messages. Good bye.”

EXT 5- Peter Thompson -

(Woman’s voice) “Hello, you’ve reached the office of Peter Thompson, Vice President, General Council and Secretary of the Hanso Foundation. Mr. Thompson is not available to take your call. If this is regarding an inquiry into the Korean offshore project, we must regretfully decline to comment… (choking sound)”
(Man’s voice): Give me the phone, Irene. Give me the…Give me it! This is Peter Thompson, as chief legal officer I wish to remind those who wish to make threats against me and my colleagues or any representatives of Widmore Corporation or Paik Heavy Industry, that these acts are criminal. Make no mistake we will locate and prosecute you to the fullest extent of the law. That’s a promise. Namaste.”

ADDITION #1: There’s an interruption in the recording that doesn’t occur with every phone call (apparently the people at Verizon and Monster.com want you to keep calling). It took several attempts before I heard it and recorded it. There’s suddenly static on the line and a woman breaks in saying, “Don’t listen to their lies. This is Persephone. I don’t have much time. None of us do. If you want to know the truth about the Hanso Foundation, the real story, then remember, a (about four words- something something tightened up?) will always snap under the breaking strain. Use this password on the website- breaking strain. They’re coming!”

ADDITION #2: I went to the website and, where you can send a message to Joop, the orangutan, I wrote the password “breaking strain” and was taken to a diagram that featured several circles. I clicked on each circle as it popped up and was taken to a page with a letter. After that I found another letter. The transcription of the letters can be found at http://jenee.net/lost-experience-letters.

Other Lost and “Lost Experience” posts

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