I’ve always laughed in the face of superstition: I’ve flown several times on Friday the 13th (flights are cheap and the planes are usually empty). When I had to choose a number for a new cell phone (which I’d purchased on Friday the 13th), I jumped at the one with the prefix “666.” And I had the coolest black cat ever.

With the luck I have, I’m starting to think my disregard for superstitions ain’t so smart.

Last week’s Friday the 13th started out with an email from my poker site stating that because Bush was set to sign the Internet gambling bill later in the day, they were ceasing business with their US customers and all accounts would be closed at a certain time.

The letter was sent after that time had passed.

So I went into a bit of a panic realizing I was suddenly unemployed with only a few weeks of comedy work on the horizon. Plus I wondered if I’d ever see a significant amount of cash I have in two accounts ever again. The worst part is, unlike times in the past when I’ve been fired, this time I can’t stick it to the bastard who did it through unemployment. I suppose I could just stick it to Uncle Sam at tax time. After all, if the government doesn’t want me gambling online, I should probably just keep it to myself how much I earn (which, if there are any IRS agents reading this, is only about $20 this year).

I was furious because I’d emailed my site less than two weeks ago inquiring about how the bill could affect their operations with US customers and I was basically told that worst case scenario it would be nine months before anything went into affect. Silly me for thinking that such a specific detail as “nine months” meant my site knew what they were talking about and were providing me with accurate information.

Mass liquor consumption followed.

When I sobered up, I figured there had to be at least a few sites who realized the profit they could make off all these abandoned poker players had to offset any penalties the US government could impose (if they could even impose any- the bill seems to put all the responsibility on US financial institutions, not the players or the gambling sites). So I shot off a bunch of emails to poker sites and found that most are still allowing US players, at least for the time being. However, for some reason I don’t understand, many will not allow players from the following states: Michigan, Illinois, Louisiana, Oregon, Wisconsin, Washington, Indiana, Nevada, South Dakota, New York, New Jersey. The sites that won’t allow any US players at all seem to be mostly limited to “those in possession of Jenée’s money.”

I’m bummed to have to switch to a new site as I’d been very happy with my last site (well, up until that whole “your account’s closed” debacle). But last week’s panic has made me realize that I do have to consider other career possibilities soon rather than waiting until 8 months and 29 days have passed. In the meantime, if any of the links on this site seem particularly appealing (wink, wink, cough, cough) feel free to follow them.

For those poker players wondering where to go, here’s a short listing of some of the major sites’ current stance. Most of the links go to the responses that were sent to me. Some of the responses weren’t totally specific on how long they intend to do business with US customers, so some of my assumptions may not be correct. It’s best to contact the site directly if you have any concerns (and don’t be suprised if they promise you at least nine months then close your account the next day…)

Online financial institutions:

Neteller- (Which I think is by far the best) is allowing transactions. Their position is stated here.
Firepay- Has stopped all transfers to and from gaming sites.

Sites suggesting they’ll allow US players for at least 270 days following the bill’s 10/13/06 signing:

Poker Stars
Full Tilt Poker
Absolute Poker
Ultimate Bet
Prima Poker Network sites: All-In, Golden Riviera,

Sites allowing US players at least for short term:

Poker Room
Poker Rewards (state restrictions)
Prima Poker Network sites-Trident Group, Poker Metro (state restrictions), Gaming Club Poker (state restrictions), BetonBet (said it’s likely US players will not be allowed in the next week or two),

Sites not allowing any US players right now:

Party Poker
Paradise Poker (allowing existing players in non-restricted states, but no deposits)
Intertops- Not clear on current policy.
Prima Poker network sites- 32Red, Wild Jack Poker (not clear on current policy), Betway, Tell Poker, Purple Lounge, Spin Palace, Code Poker,