Comedian Jenée: People are Idiots

Eat Junk, Lose Weight!

I read a news article yesterday that makes me think I missed my bestseller opportunity. A science professor has introduced a no-diet diet he calls “intuitive eating.” Basically, he says that if you only eat when you’re hungry and don’t eat to the point of fullness, you can eat whatever you want. He used this approach to lose 50 pounds and keep it off for five years.

I’m telling you…It’s true!

I struggled with my weight most of my life. I was never fat or even chubby, just heavy enough to get the “You have a pretty face” compliments while my friends were off winning bikini contests. I tried all the diets and constantly fretted about my size. I spent way too much time thinking about food- when I’d have it and what I’d have.

Finally, about eight years ago I lost 30 pounds through calorie-counting and exercise. Soon after, I was on the road for an extended period and had little choice but to eat a lot of fast food and other processed crap-in-a-can. When I returned, I was scared to death of how much weight I’d gained and was completely surprised I hadn’t gained any. I thought about all those skinny friends who ate whatever they wanted and never put on a pound and decided to maintain a similar diet and see what happens. My weight has barely fluctuated since.

While I don’t chow on junk food every day, if I crave something, I eat it- but not nearly as much as I used to. I’ve rid myself of the “eat everything on your plate” mentality my parents pummeled into my head as a child. Take my Thanksgiving Jack-in-the-Box feast: ten years ago, I could have and would have finished the whole meal in one sitting. Now, I can only finish the sandwich and have to eat the side later. That’s all I ate for the day- and not for any caloric reasons, I just wasn’t hungry for more. I don’t eat at pre-determined times, just when I’m hungry, so there’s no snacking between meals. I completely agree with the scientist’s explanation that, “Having an overabundance of what’s taboo helps me lose my desire to gorge.”

Last year, I finally gave up the Diet Cokes bartenders around town had become accustomed to pouring for me and switched to the hard stuff. You know what? It’s almost completely curbed my sweet tooth (well, with a little help from french vanilla cappuccinos). I rarely indulge in any other goodies- I didn’t even try the cake at my brother’s recent wedding. Say what you want about drinking Coke, it’s certainly better than scarfing down cookies.

I’m sure skeptics will want to argue that eating this and not eating that is unhealthy. Maybe it is. All I know is that in the last eight years, the only illness I’ve suffered was a quick bout of tonsillitis. When I’ve caught colds, they’ve been minor and only lasted about a day. The flu? I don’t even remember what that’s like.

There’s still a part of me that worries if I don’t switch back to broiled chicken breasts and steamed veggies every night, I’m going to suddenly wake up looking like Violet Beauregard after she chewed the tainted gum in Willy Wonka. But I’m sure I’ll notice if I start gaining weight and will adjust my diet accordingly. At the very least, I think I’ve moved past the psychological dependence on food and will be more successful at losing the weight than I was years ago.

I don’t know if this particular diet method is effective for everybody, but it’s certainly worth checking out: intuitive eating