My path of electrical destruction widens: A halogen lamp- whose bulb I just replaced last week- burned out. I have to be stopped before people get hurt- but how? I presume I’m suffering from a severe case of Lost withdrawal and my body thinks it’s absorbed the electromagnetic energy of the island, which is causing my bionic circuitry to go haywire.

Or maybe I’m just having a crappy summer. I dunno.

Over the last couple days I’ve spent about an hour and a half navigating the worst phone tree known to man over at AT&T and speaking with incompetent technicians who spend half an hour walking me through various steps that don’t work until I say, “I told you right off the bat that I already tried that.” They can’t seem to figure out my DSL problem so they’ve arranged for somebody to come by on Monday and, if the problem is deemed to be on my end, they’ll charge me $60 for half an hour. Why don’t I just leave this company I hate with a passion, you may ask? I have- TWICE. Every time I do they buy out the company I switch to. Can you get a restraining order against a corporation? (And should I divulge my bionic situation before the technician arrives to possibly save a few bucks)?

Trying to see the situation from a positive side, I was able to use the time spent on the phone to load a few web pages while I’m on dial up. Correction: I was able to load one or two pages while the other attempts returned “page timed out.” How did I ever tolerate the days of AOL?

Actually, on a really positive note, tonight I was able to turn off my fan for the first time in two weeks. Adios heat wave!