Debutante Under the Influence
Earlier this morning, Paris Hilton had the cuffs slapped on her (and they weren’t the furry ones she’s become accustomed to during her “home video” sessions). Any cop who pulls over someone like Paris Hilton for investigation of drunk driving has to be thinking it’s his lucky day. He’s like a broke man at a craps table: “Come on .08%!”
Given all the trouble she’s escaped in the past, I hope the arresting officer marched her into the precinct like the prized pig at the county fair: “Your Mel Gibson entry put on a mighty nice show with his anti-Semitic hootin’ and hollerin’ but lookie here at the purdy one I got…”
To which Hilton would surely reply, “Don’t compare me to Mel Gibson. I would never make anti-Semitic comments. Unless they were toward a dirty Jew.”
(UPDATE #1: Now she’s saying she was starving and really wanted an In-N-Out burger. I bet the folks at Carls Jr.- which has a store only one block away- LOVED that.
UPDATE #2: I think the biggest crime of the night was committed by her sister Nicky, who arrived at the police station wearing a black dress with white pumps. Eek! video).
How’d she luck out and get non-Jewish cops? I mean, they run the police departments everywhere else. Especially up here in Maine.