Comedian Jenée: People are Idiots

Bullet in a Bible Hollywood Premiere

Before I mention THEM again, let me explain my little obsession. I don’t even know if you could call it an obsession. I don’t have their t-shirts or other paraphernalia, I don’t take free stickers and posters when offered and I don’t keep the tickets from their concerts (well, not intentionally- I’ll have to check the purses I carried). It’s about the music, in particular, American Idiot. I can’t really explain it. American Idiot just grabbed me and shook me hard. “Holiday” isn’t just a song- it’s an anthem. It’s rare for any artistic endeavor to truly excite me but this did to a whole new level.

Most importantly, Green Day reignited that yearning inside me to create something great and reminded me that sometimes the biggest risks can garner the greatest rewards.

Explanation over, on to the premiere!

After two Green Day concerts in the last month, I still wanted more. I almost went to the Big Screen Concert preview for their Bullet in a Bible DVD a few weeks ago, but couldn’t bear to drive an hour to watch their concert sitting down. So I skipped it.

Then a couple days ago I read this on their website:

You are invited to join the band for the premiere of the live concert movie event of the year…Tuesday, November 15th, 7:30 p.m. Cineramadome, Hollywood. Tickets will be distributed to fans on a first come first serve basis starting at 2 p.m.

A free premiere only a couple blocks from where I live? I took the message to mean they were inviting ME personally. I’ve never understood the people who wait in line for hours to see a movie that’s going to be in theatres for the next four months, but this was a one-night-only opportunity. I had to go. I made several passes by the location in the morning and when it looked like the line was getting long, I plopped down on my cushion with my laptop and a movie to pass the two hours.

Looking at the others, it occurred to me that I was quite possibly the oldest person in line who hadn’t been dragged there by their kids. Not a great feeling. As much as this album speaks to the trials of youth, I wonder if these teenagers even understand and appreciate the message and not just the catchy tunes.

Almost an hour late, we finally got our wristbands and were told to return at 5 p.m. to receive our tickets. I’d had my fill of waiting in line for Green Day events, so I returned around 6 p.m. and, as I expected, found the long line moving nowhere. So I walked a couple blocks over to the Cat and Fiddle, where I worked years ago, chatted up some old friends and enjoyed a couple beers. It didn’t seem right to watch a Green Day concert without having at least one cocktail.

I returned to the theatre just before 7 p.m. to find the line finally moving and took my place at the very end of the wristband wearers but ahead of the couple hundred hopefuls whose best bet at hearing Green Day that night was across the street at Amoeba Music. I assumed I’d end up sitting in the very back but knew it still wouldn’t be that bad. As it turned out, the tickets had assigned seats and I was given one in the front row. Normally I’d consider it the worst location in a movie theatre, but probably not bad for a concert documentary.

I figured they’d stiff the riffraff on the usual premiere perks, but we still got our free popcorn and soda (though no free DVD as I’d hoped). I made my way into the theatre to find some kid in my seat. She and her friends asserted that the tickets were mistakenly handed out in reverse order and that the people in the front of the line were supposed to get the front row seats. I briefly tested their logic, asking how everybody was supposed to figure out what the opposite seat was. But they’re teenagers so their only argument was, “We waited in line all day! Waaah!” Frankly, the aisle seat I spotted about five rows up looked better to me anyway, so I didn’t put up a fuss, but I guess others did because I saw the kids get the boot a short time later.

I looked around at all the teenagers and felt like such a ‘tard. The upper section of the theatre was reserved for the band and invited big wigs. Part of me wanted to approach the security guards and plead, “Look, I’m old enough to buy alcohol. Can I please sit with the other grownups?” But I stayed put and endured the pack of 8-year-olds girls, one with dreadlocks, screeching, “We’re in a band! I’m the guitarist, she’s the keyboardist and she’s the dancer!” (The dancer)? The burst of excitement when Danny Bonaduce entered the theatre made me wonder if all these kids had been bussed in from the Midwest and if I should fear for my safety when Green Day finally arrived.

An hour late (which I’m getting used to), Billie Joe, Tr? and Mike entered (without incident, I might add) and made a quick appearance in front of the screen then headed to their seats with their lovely companions. When the bass player’s girlfriend looks like a supermodel, you know the band has made it. I couldn’t help but like Billie Joe’s wife as she earnestly studied her ticket to find the correct seat even though she could have sat wherever the hell she wanted. She could have told Bonaduce to get his ass out of his seat and the audience would have turned on him in an instant to support their beloved Adrienne.

Sitting only about 25 feet from the screen, I was tempted to run up to it and give big Billie Joe a kiss. Then again, I could have just as easily run 25 feet in the other direction, pushed Adrienne aside and given little Billie Joe a kiss. I might have done something that juvenile to the screen if I’d had a friend with me, but stupid stuff like that just isn’t as much fun without a buddy there to enjoy the inevitable eviction from the theatre (or possibly, to post bail). I think I’m also five years past the point where a stunt like that is cute instead of creepy. So I stayed in my seat, bouncing around but obeying the fire marshal’s order not to stand up during the show or the event would be cancelled.

The documentary, shot over two nights at England’s Milton Keynes Bowl before 65,000 people, was almost as good as being at an actual Green Day concert. The show was nearly identical to the one I saw in Albuquerque and I was quickly reminded why that was the best concert I’ve ever been to. Green Day doesn’t just perform the songs the way you hear them on CD; they’ll pause halfway through a song, do some crowd work for a few minutes to really build the anticipation, then close the song like it’s the grand finale. Their shenanigans offstage were just as entertaining as onstage.

I haven’t purchased the DVD, but I probably will so that 10 years from now, when Green Day creates another monumental album, one of my nephews will say, “I can’t believe Aunt Nene’s ever heard of Green Day, much less has their DVD.” And I’ll chuckle. And then I’ll wait in line with them for that DVD’s premiere feeling like I finally have a good excuse for being oldest in line.

While this probably won’t be my last mention of Green Day, it will probably be the last blog devoted to them since I don’t imagine I’ll be seeing them for awhile. But who knows? In the last month, I went from not expecting to see my boys at all to seeing them in a 13,000 person venue, to a 2,200 person venue to an 800 person venue. At this rate, I could be ringing in the new year in a m?nage a quatre with my favorite band.

(The first Green Day blog)

Epilogue: An hour after posting this, I went to the store and whom did I see on the cover of Rolling Stone? None other than sweet Billie Joe. I SWEAR I was just going to browse the article but I opened the magazine a couple pages and saw a picture of a comic I play poker with, so THAT’S the reason I bought the issue (well… the two combined) . Just wanted to make that clear in case anybody I know stumbles upon the magazine in my possession and seriously worries about me being obsessed.