Every May when the winner of American Idol is announced, I swear it’s the last season I’ll watch this piece of garbage. Then January rolls around and it somehow ropes me back in. I lose a part of my soul with every season and I fear that if I keep watching, by season 12 I’ll be laughing at prop comics and attending Celine Dion concerts with a fanny pack around my waist.

This year, the show is back with a fourth judge, Kara Dioguardi, whose name Simon still can’t pronounce correctly. I’m used to people butchering my name and I rarely correct them but I think if I had 30+ million people watching I’d want my co-workers to get it right. She needs to use a mnemonic system to help him with it. I go with “Renée with a J,” which usually seems to help and I think she should go with “I don’t Karabout British douchebags who can’t pronounce my name.” She had no qualms about sticking up for herself when she felt threatened by Bikini Girl, even going so far as to prove her singing skills. I was embarrassed for her that she felt she needed to do that and I was amused that Bikini Girl wasn’t the slightest bit impressed, which clearly riled Kara. A fourth judge really isn’t necessary but at least she brings something to the show that Paula doesn’t: coherence.

Last night the top 36 were revealed and here are just a few comments on the selections:

Best decision by the judges: Keeping Norman and Tatiana. Norman is the guy who does the Richard Simmons type character, a choice that could have seemed painfully derivative but he keeps it just subtle enough to be funny. Then there’s Tatiana who is the epitome of the term “hot mess.” I loved it when Simon said to her, “Just try for a moment not to be annoying,” which is impossible for her to do. She’s a complete nightmare and both she and Norman will infuriate the uber fans who take this show way too seriously but they’re sheer entertainment so of course I hope they both go far.

Worst decision by the judges: Sending home the black guy who’s best friends with the dude whose wife died. I thought he was one of the best in the competition and should have gone forward.

Most predictable decision by the judges: Keeping the sweet blind dude. The guy is a good singer but not nearly as good as some of the rejects and his position probably should have gone to the guy above. I just hope Simon won’t pull any punches with him. That means he needs to rip him on his style and his bug-eyed stare like he would anybody else. Fair is fair.

Tags: American Idol, Bikini Girl, Kara Dioguardi, Norman, Paula Abdul, Randy Jackson, Simon Cowell, Tatiana