People are Idiots

More From The Academy Awards Bartender Files

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For the last four years I’ve bartended at the Academy Awards and will do so again this year. This is part two of my experiences (Part one)

As I mentioned yesterday, Oscar money isn’t all in the tips. Ebay is what makes the event really worthwhile. The amount of dough people pay for stupid memorabilia is ridiculous. But that’s the kind of stupid I like. First on the annual auction block is the Oscar pin we have to wear, which serves as a classy sort of access pass. In addition, I can usually get my hands on a few programs left on the bar. Then there’s usually some sort of booklet or trinket given out at the Governor’s Ball (which is the official after party that everybody ditches within an hour). Since I don’t work that party, those are a little harder for me to come by but sometimes I can find a forgotten one on my way out. At the end of the day, fifteen minutes of computer work ends up bringing in as much or more money than eight hours of hard labor. What a mixed-up world we live in.


Speaking of the Governor’s Ball, that’s definitely the most spectacular part of the whole event- even more than the theatre set. It’s quite amazing the way the Grand Ballroom is transformed every year. They bring in brand new plush carpeting, huge chandeliers and then completely cover the walls and ceiling with decorative treatments. One year it was old-Hollywood elegance in creams and blacks, another year it was hip rounders on risers in shades of brown. It’s a sharp contrast from the bland Kodak Theatre lobby I have to look at all day in which they do absolutely no decorating.

On the terrace outside the ballroom, there’s a long line of booths about five feet wide, all occupied by various news and gossip organizations. They decorate their respective booths to resemble their show’s theme and then they interview anybody who will give them the time of day. If you’ve ever wondered how some crappy show got a big star to come down to their “set” for an interview, now you know how it’s done.

Some other tidbits:

  • The year Michael Moore blasted Bush and the war, everybody watching on the lobby tv cheered so I was surprised to learn later that people in the theatre booed.
  • Last year I was bartender to the losers. There were several categories for which they showed the nominees’ faces onscreen and I realized I’d served four out of the five and the fifth won every time. With three nominations, George Clooney at least has a chance if I serve him (I mean, WHEN I serve him. I’ll probably tackle whichever bartender he walks up to).
  • One year, it was comical the way Colin Farell (beer) came tearing down the ramp at virtually every commercial break. But he handled his liquor like a true Irishman and gave no clue to his mass consumption when he presented later on.
  • You’d think the winners would keep a death grip on their Oscars but apparently the cool thing to do is just leave it on the bar and act like it’s really not a big deal.
  • The first year I worked, we had a couple food items available for sale. This one guy tried to order a sandwich from the side even though I had two or three people in line. So I asked him to please wait a moment. I don’t care who somebody is, I always help the customers in the order they’ve waited (unless they’ve dropped me a big tip, but that’s my call to bring them to the front of the line, not theirs). The guy was really pushy and I sort of snapped back at him. I remember thinking, “Here’s a room full of bigshots- who does this punk think he is?” A few hours later I see the guy onstage kissing Halle Berry. Turns out it was Adrien Brody and he won for Best Actor. So he actually was one of the bigshots that year but that’s still no excuse for his behavior.
  • Leonardo DiCaprio, on the other hand, waited patiently for his two glasses of Evian last year. So patiently in fact that it was only minutes away from the Best Actor anouncement. I guess he knew it really didn’t matter if he made it back to his seat in time or not.
  • Still to come: Oscar security, the speeding ticket story then this year’s recap

    7 Responses to “More From The Academy Awards Bartender Files”

    1. SWAG for the Homeless

      A “simply marvelous” way for Hollywood to celebrate its
      accomplishments would be to donate and auction those Oscar gift bags to help rebuild homes in the devastated city of New Orleans ? Donations to New Orleans Habitat for Humanity would allow at least 1 home to be built for every gift bag.

      Just a thought.

      http://dailyskew.blogspot.com/

    2. The bulk of the gift bag recipients don’t earn the kind of big bucks that make it easy to toss off $100,000 worth of merchandise to charity. The A-list nominees and presenters who can afford to do that probably contribute a decent amount to charity in other ways- if not out of the goodness of their hearts, then for publicity sake.

    3. Funny…I thought the cool thing to do was leave yourself at the bar, pretending it’s no big deal if you’re lifted.

    4. [...] Det verkar som om den årliga “Oscar-manian” nu har nått sin kulmen så här dagen efter evenemanget. Blogosfären formligen kryllar av referenser till Oscarsgalan , filmerna, priserna, ja till och med Ebayförsäljningar av memorabilia . [...]

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    6. :| Thanks my first smily! I worked in the restaurant business and the boss, besides knowing 4 of the 5 D.A.’s in NYC (his family owned “Four Seasons”) at a Zum Zum he knew the guy who invented the smile button! Anyway I enjoyed your observation of the Oscars! In CA’s CoCo’s “Plankhouse” an Oscar was a piece of mahi-mahi fish fried with sliced almonds, with asparagus spears and some sort of hollandaise sauce on it. They had a place once at Smithaven Mall on Long Island, NY, the W.R. Grace, Co. I really liked the Oscar story a “friend” shared a make-up Oscar for “Dick Tracey” and I wondered what its like to be there and I enjoyed your power of observation.

    7. adrien brody movies

      I Googled for something completely different, but found your page…and have to say thanks. nice read.

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