The Louse Of The Year
Maybe Jason is reconsidering his third choice, Jillian.
Of course I have to comment on the “most dramatic finale ever” of The Bachelor. Just to recap what I’ve written about recent seasons of The Bachelor/ette: first we had Brad Womack, the tool who told the final two contestants that he could see each of them as his wife then he proceeded to dump both of them in the end. So then reject Deanna Pappas got her “second shot at love” and her final two choices were crazy snowboarder Jesse and divorced father Jason. She chose Jesse but not before letting Jason get down on his knees to propose to her. Then this season, reject Jason Resnick was picked to be The Bachelor and get his “second third shot at love.”
I didn’t like the selection from the beginning. The Bachelor is supposed be a sort of fantasy guy and Jason’s just average in every way. But that didn’t stop 25 women from wanting to be the stepmother of his child before they ever met him. I’d love to see them attempt to do The Bachelorette with a single mother. It would last all of one episode as the guys would all hightail it out of there the second they heard about her bundle of joy.
I had long expected his final choices would be Jillian and Melissa so I was a little surprised when he dumped Jillian for Molly but I was still certain he’d pick Melissa in the end. So it was Melissa and Molly who got to meet his son Ty and his family who drilled both women about the heartache Jason’s been through and whether or not they would put him through that again. ‘Cuz Jason’s such an “amazing” (Jason must have uttered that word 1000 times this season) guy. But then (gasp!) Deanna shows up at Jason’s door because she just happened to be in the neighborhood of New Zealand where filming was taking place. The moment responsible for the show’s resurgence in ratings had finally arrived! And it ended with a quick plunk. Deanna said she’d made a mistake choosing Jesse and she should have chosen Jason instead. Jason essentially responded with, “Thanks for coming, put me down for two of whatever you’re selling and get out of here before little Ty sees you and gets even more confused about who his new Mommy is going to be.”
At the final rose ceremony, a tortured Jason chose Melissa, once again getting down on one knee but this time without being told to get back up again. He swung Melissa in his arms as they kissed and shouted their love for each other then the two of them, along with Ty, jumped with their fancy clothes on into an eternity pool. Unfortunately, an inflatable wading pool (with a tear in it) would have been a better symbol of their relationship to come.
In the “dramatic” After the Rose special, Jason said he’d given it a go with Melissa (for all of about a month) but decided he was really in love with Molly. Even better, he hadn’t officially dumped Melissa yet because heaven forbid he should do anything in his love life without the cameras rolling. So he broke up with Melissa (who constantly reminded us throughout the season how she’s always the dumpee) during the taping.
The most painful part of the episode was watching Melissa return the ring. I was fairly certain there weren’t any women on the closed set because if there were, I’m sure we would have heard at least one yell, “NOOOOO!!!!” Poor Melissa apparently doesn’t know the rule about engagement rings: if the girl breaks the guy’s heart, she returns the ring. If the guy is a douchebag like Jason, she sells the ring and uses the money for plastic surgery so she can find a new man (and from what I’ve heard, that was a $65,000 ring, which could keep her swimming in Restylane injections and breast implants for a long time).
Two minutes after dumping his fiancee, Jason asked Molly for another shot and she said yes and they slobbered all over each other, presumably with Melissa’s down payment for a house ring still in his pocket.
Look, I have no problem with Jason deciding Melissa wasn’t the one and wanting another chance with Molly. It’s the fact that he did it all on tv when it was completely unnecessary to do so that was just completely classless. And he seemed oblivious about how selfish his behavior was, saying that he had to follow his heart. Sure, when it’s Jason whose feelings get stomped upon, he spends six months on television telling the world he deserves better but the first chance he gets he breaks a girl’s heart and humiliates her in front of the whole nation.
I’m not surprised that third place finisher Jillian was anounced as the next Bachelorette but the way these rejects are going the second time around, I won’t be surprised if she ends up choosing married host Chris Harrison to be her guy.
Love Hurts (If You Let It)
In case you’re a little behind on the gossip rags… the night before the Grammy’s, singers Chris Brown and girlfriend Rihanna got into a squabble resulting in both of them backing out of scheduled performances at the ceremony. A few days later, the photo on the left was leaked showing that Rihanna suffered facial injuries in the incident.
A month later comes word that Rihanna and Chris are back together.
WHAT????
It sounds like Chris was one right hook shy of knocking some sense into her. While I’d probably be out the door if a guy even yelled at me, I sort of understand why a middle-aged woman with three kids who thinks she has no place to go might tolerate some abuse. But Rihanna is a young, beautiful, successful woman. Doesn’t she have family or people on her payroll whose job it is to keep her away from her young O.J.-in-training?
Apparently not because I just read this quote from her dad: “I will be supportive. If that’s the road she wants to choose, I’m behind her.” He’s going to be behind her? Well, I suppose that’s safer than standing in front of her and having to take the blows himself. I think it’s pretty obvious which side of the family she gets her judgment from. I wonder if he actually said that or if the tabloids simply pulled that quote from a Magic 8 ball that with a harder shake could have just as easily come up with, “The outlook isn’t good.” I just find it hard to believe any father would be “supportive” of a situation that leaves his daughter with a fat, bloodied lip (come to think of it, for the right price from the National Enquirer, my dad would probably do it himself).
I hope for Rihanna’s sake that she merely met with Chris and that it wasn’t a reconciliation. But if it was, perhaps Cover Girl will take advantage of her spokesmodel contract to introduce their new “Battered and Beautiful” line of concealers.
