Last week was the three year blogiversary of “People are Idiots.” Unfortunately, due to the economic crisis, we had to cancel the ticker tape parade that had been planned but in its stead I shredded up five $1 dollar bills and threw them around my room since it was cheaper than actually buying confetti.
But rather than focus on the last three years of blogging, I’m finally going to weigh in on the next four years (hopefully, eight years) of our country. I’m not a big fan of politics because I find it all terribly boring except when discussed by John Stewart or Stephen Colbert. However, this time around I actually watched all the debates and since that’s about eight hours of redundancy I can never get back, I’d like to offer my opinions in two parts. The first is on the players and the second will be on some of the issues.
Barrack Obama- My previous choices for president have been quite simple for me because there’s always been one guy who’s clearly an oppressive bigot so my vote has always gone to the other guy by default (needless to say, I’ve always voted for Democratic presidential candidates). But this time I’m supporting a candidate that I truly think is awesome. I finally understand the enthusiasm people felt toward John F. Kennedy (senior, that is. I always understood the enthusiasm for JFK Jr.) It’s hard to not like Obama, no matter what your political beliefs are. I believe even KKK members are thinking, “Well, he IS half white…” which is a refreshing “glass is half full” approach to prejudice. The beauty of this election is that I already know he’s going to win. It’s not simply because of what the media’s reporting but because there are members of my faithful Republican family who are going to vote for Obama. That’s all the polling I need. Go Obama!!!
Joe Biden- The Veep debate instilled a bit of confidence that Biden’s a competent selection for V.P. though it felt like he was towing the company line as a reluctant supporter of some of Obama’s policies. He should be fine as V.P. but I don’t want him to be in a position to assume the presidency.
John McCain- No politician is to be trusted but I REALLY don’t trust McCain. All he seems to understand is how to make the rich richer and how to make the military stronger and I fear his approach to both of these matters will be even more aggressive and detrimental than Bush’s. And one thing that really bugged me in the debates (besides his creepy smile) is the way he repeatedly turned around Obama’s words even when Obama made himself quite clear about his tax and health plans. I can’t stand it when people do that. McCain excels at doublespeak and I hope people won’t be fooled by it. For instance, he keeps saying that potential Supreme Court justices wouldn’t be put to any litmus test on issues like Roe v. Wade- he just wants to find qualified candidates. But he let it slip at the last debate that somebody who supports Roe v. Wade probably wouldn’t fit his definition of “qualified.” McCain is bullshit in a crusty old package.
Sarah Palin- I’ll start with the only compliments I can pay her, which are that she gave a decent performance on SNL and she was a good sport about it and that she’s an attractive woman so I’m sure when her V.P. aspirations don’t pan out she’ll have a lucrative Playboy offer to mull over. Yeah, that sums up the niceties I have for her. When I first heard that McCain selected her as his running mate I was excited to know that come January, either a woman or a black was going to be in the White House. But the more I’ve learned about her, the already-weak McCain ticket became much weaker to me. While most people seem to have a problem with her lack of experience, I don’t. Given the choice between an experienced candidate with poor vision and a smart, inexperienced candidate with great vision, I’ll take the latter. Unfortunately, Palin is an inexperienced candidate with such piss poor vision she thinks she can see Russia from her breakfast nook. Palin in the White House is such a bad idea that I’m sure when the concept was pitched to Disney as a movie (hockey mom with the hokey “Fargo” accent running for V.P.- you KNOW it’s been pitched before), even those crap regurgitators turned it down because it was too far-fetched.
Hillary Clinton- Since I’m not entirely sure she’s totally withdrawn from the race, I’ll give her a shout out. I wouldn’t have been disappointed if she’d won the nomination because policy-wise, she’s pretty close to Obama. The main reasons why I prefer Obama to her is that I trust him more and I like that he’s a relative newcomer to the Washington scene. For most of my life, two families have sat in the White House and I think it’s time for some new blood. Sorry Hill.
Joe the Plumber- The funniest thing to me about Joe the Plumber is that based on what we’ve learned about him since McCain dragged him into the last debate is that it sounds like he’s somebody who will prosper under Obama’s tax plan, not McCain’s. But enough about Joe the Plumber and Joe Six Pack. What I want to know is why isn’t anybody talking about Joe Shmoe and what he’s been through over the last eight years?