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Night Tremors

My psychic powers are at work again. Last night I had a very vivid dream in which a friend of mine was flabbergasted that I hadn't felt a powerful earthquake that had just occurred. It's been years since I've experienced an earthquake, which is why I thought the dream was odd but we just had a fairly strong one a couple minutes ago. It was one of the longest earthquakes I've ever felt- I had plenty of time to debate whether I should get out of bed and throw some clothes on. Laziness won out over personal safety. The batteries in my remote are dead so of course that means I can't turn on the tv to find out the ...

Shark Week!

It's that glorious time of year known as Shark Week on the Discovery channel. I missed the premiere episode so I went to their website to find out if the videos are available online. They're not but I did stumble upon their "Shark Yourself" feature and of course I had to waste my time playing with it. I like the first one better- I really think some shark teeth covered in bling bling is the right look for me. As for the second photo, it's the closest anybody will ever come to seeing me eat fish without gagging. ...

Google Loves Me Again

A couple months ago I noticed that my visitor stats had gone way down and I was no longer getting any referrals from Google. Even for a term like "Jenee" for which I've always been the #1 result, I didn't show up at all. Through some searching I learned that this happens with sites that Google deems to be spam sites and I couldn't understand why mine would be flagged as such. I thought maybe I'd used one-too-many "fucks" or "cunts" so I put in a request for reconsideration. Then while fixing some code with my theme I discovered by accident that there was a ton of spam-like hidden links contained within my index file that bulked up my homepage to ...

Free At Last, Free At Last, Fuck You Vaseline, I’m Free At Last!

One of my earliest blog posts was about the lip balm addiction I've suffered from for more than a decade. Over the years I've made the occasional attempts to quit using and, though I usually didn't last for more than a couple hours, sometimes I managed to get through the day but as soon as I put my head on my pillow I realized sleep would be impossible without dipping into my giant jar of Vaseline that sits on my nightstand right next to my salt shaker (that's a whole 'nother addiction). I hit rock bottom many times. I would get into my car and fret over my naked lips so I'd grab the emergency Chapstick ...

My Hand, My Wishes

On Monday's finale of The Bachelorette, a big deal was made over her suitors asking for her father's permission to propose to her, an archaic tradition I can't believe is still practiced. It made sense back in olden days when a marriage meant the loss of a good farmhand or butter churner but in today's age of food processors and women living on their own for a good while before marrying, it's rather insulting to the woman. Asking for the father's permission suggests that the father has control over his daughter's life and subsequently, the husband will be in control. Fuck that. I don't want anybody thinking he's the boss of me and ...

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