I'm flying to New York tomorrow so I checked the Transportation Security Administration's carry-on guidelines to see if any laws were passed last week prohibiting things like ink pens. The TSA website states that most liquids/foods can be carried in quantities less than three ounces but exceptions for larger quantities can be made for certain items and it specifically mentions KY Jelly as one of them. That led me to check the KY Jelly website where I verified it's pretty much just for fucking. Lower down on the TSA page, whipped cream is listed as an item limited to less than three ounces, the message of course being that it's okay to spend ...

Come on- the resemblance is funny. Check out real Cats that look like Hitler (and of course, comments from the people who can't see the humor in kitlers).

In the last week, two young celebrities have met untimely deaths and since this stuff usually happens in threes, Britney Spears and Amy Winehouse would be wise to check the expiration dates on their respective deals with the devil. While Brad Renfro's death garnered less press than his breakthrough role in "The Client" did, Heath Ledger's will surely be talked about for years to come. The police say no foul play was involved but I call foul on the woman who found him and (naturally) decided her first call should be to none other than an Olsen twin (I guess the wiser Uncle Jesse wasn't available). If I discovered a movie star's ...

It's been a while since I've railed on MySpace and the mockery is long overdue: I'll start with an unusual friend request I received a few days ago; It was from my mom. As if seeing my mom's mug on MySpace wasn't disturbing enough, she lists her marital status as "single." Hey, I know I'm bad about returning phone calls but there are better ways for parents to inform their kid about a divorce. They seemed so happy at our birthday celebration last week (sniff). I'm curious how she even found my MySpace page and I'm a bit concerned that she found it through this blog. I've always known there was a possibility ...

If you thought the story about the man running into his wife at a brothel was a doozy, check out this one: LONDON (Reuters) - A couple discovered after they had married that they were twins who had been split up at birth and adopted by separate families, according to a member of Britain's House of Lords. (Full story) All I can say is I'm thankful I grew up with my fraternal twin brother. The rest of you may have fucked your twins and never knew it. :devil_tb:

I love stories like this: WARSAW (Reuters) - A Polish man got the shock of his life when he visited a brothel and spotted his wife among the establishment's employees. Polish tabloid Super Express said the woman had been making some extra money on the side while telling her husband she worked at a store in a nearby town. "I was dumfounded. I thought I was dreaming," the husband told the newspaper on Wednesday. The couple, married for 14 years, are now divorcing, the newspaper reported. (Source) Personally, I think the wife has greater reason to be angry because maybe if the husband wasn't blowing money on hookers she wouldn't have to blow men for money.

The first time I ever heard of The Jonas Brothers was on Christmas, when my niece-in-law (is that a term? It's my brother-in-law's niece) was bopping around to their music on her mp3 player so I had a listen. They sing that freakishly catchy music that I'll never seek out but if I ever hear it on the radio I'm sure I'll find myself singing it for hours afterward. Since then, I've come across several pictures of the teenyboppers and I'm afraid to find out how old they are because the future hotness potential of the middle one makes me a little warm. Is it wrong to have impure thoughts about a youngun' as ...

I read an interesting article that as a caffeine swilling, turkey munching, low light reading, cell phone toting, leg shaver who uses a solid 11% of her brain, I thought I should share. (Reprinted from here): Revealed: The seven great "medical myths" By Peter Griffiths LONDON (Reuters) - Reading in dim light won't damage your eyes, you don't need eight glasses of water a day to stay healthy and shaving your legs won't make the hair grow back faster. These well-worn theories are among seven "medical myths" exposed in a paper published Friday in the British Medical Journal, which traditionally carries light-hearted features in its Christmas edition. Two U.S. researchers took seven common beliefs and searched the archives for evidence to support them. Despite frequent ...