Bye Bye Merv
I just read that Merv Griffin passed away. I had a great experience with him a few years ago and thought I’d share.
I was asked to be a part of a new show called “The Court of Common Sense.” It was sort of like “Judge Judy” except that the decisions were based solely on common sense rather than the law. Needless to say, I loved the concept.
Every day for about a week we did run-throughs in Merv Griffin’s Beverly Hilton office. A run-through is when you test out a show and hopefully work out the kinks before the pilot is filmed. There were only a handful of us involved in this- me as the wisecracking court reporter, the always-funny Steve Seagren as the sidekick bailiff, the show creator, Merv Griffin and one of Merv’s top development execs. We auditioned several people to be the judge, including Howie Mandel, Bobby Collins and Adam West. Yes, the original Batman. He was my favorite as I thought his dry sense of humor was a nice contrast to Steve’s goofy style and my smart ass style.
Quite often during the week, Merv would ask for my opinion on things since I was the only female in the room. I remember being surprised the first time he did that because I wouldn’t expect someone of his stature to even notice I was there much less care about what I thought. But he was so friendly and kept commenting on how lovely I was that I thought he was flirting with me and I told a friend that. My friend said, “Uh, you know Merv Griffin is gay, right?” Apparently I missed that issue of the National Enquirer but it made perfect sense since the ‘Mo’s love me (I think it’s because at my former height of 5’10″ and with my broad shoulders I resembled a bad drag queen).
When we actually filmed the pilot, Joe Rogan held the role of the judge and it was absolutely hilarious. I was certain that the show was going to be an enormous hit but for some unknown reason it wasn’t picked up. Serious error in someone’s judgment.
But in a town full of phony, conceited nobodies, it was nice to encounter someone at the top who still acknowledged the little guy with respect. Merv Griffin seemed like a class act to me- R.I.P.
I’m Shrinking
It’s been years since I’ve had my height measured because it seemed unnecessary. At the doctor’s office I’d just wave it off and tell them 5’10″. Well today I went along with it and the nurse said I was 5’9″ (and 1/4). I made her do it again because I couldn’t believe it but sure enough, I’ve lost almost an inch. I don’t mind that I’m shorter because I always thought I was too tall and wished I could shave off an inch or two but it really screws with my sense of identity. I’ve been 5’10″ since I was about 13 so when people ask it will be bizarre to have to start saying 5’9″. Or weirder yet, now that I’m a scrawny 5’9″, maybe people won’t even ask how tall I am anymore. Or perhaps I was never 5’10″ and that extra 3/4″ was just the enormous Aqua Netted hair of my youth.
It made me realize that now almost everything on my driver’s license is false except my age (the one thing I wish I could change on there). It lists my parents’ address, my old height and my dream weight. It says my eyes are blue, which they are but there’s a gold ring around the pupils so they look green. And the photo is fabulous, which a lot of people would think is a good thing but it’s not because when I’m out and about and scruffy looking and have to show my ID the person checks out the picture then me and says, “That’s you?” as in, “What the hell happened?” Trust me, bad photo is better.
But if there’s one really great aspect to all of this it’s that now I can wear heels at my wedding to George Clooney!
