Good ol' Corey Clark- he of the Paula Abdul cougar love- is back in the news. I love it when you can just look at someone's mugshot and know exactly what he was busted for. If the D.A. can't get a conviction on this one, it's time to hang up his legal briefs.

I don't think anybody's as thrilled that the newest Harry Potter book is on sale as I am. I've never read any of the books and only saw the first film (which sucked) but I'm thrilled because I am sick to death of hearing about this. The mania and security surrounding the release are absolutely insane. I can't criticize the fact that children are so excited about a book. That's a good thing. And I get that young kids want to be the first to read it. They think that 20 years down the line they'll tell their kids about it and ...

Today the Senate voted 87-1 to double the price of the bounty on Osama bin Laden's head to $50 million. That means all but one person on the Senate are under the belief that an extra $25 million might make the difference in finding bin Laden, as if the first $25 million just wasn't enough of an incentive for somebody. Who do they think has information as to his whereabouts? Oprah Winfrey? Forget about the money. I think most people would turn in their own mother just to do an interview with Oprah. Come to think of it, the one holdout probably wanted to triple the bounty. Our country is so screwed.

I just watched the Bizarro Jerry episode of Seinfeld, the one in which Jerry breaks up with a gorgeous woman because she has "man hands." It's one of many seemingly ridiculous reasons for why Jerry stops seeing women and it got me thinking about some of my own Seinfeldian excuses for calling it quits. I already described the time I walked out on a guy because he thought a stupid t-shirt was funny and figured I'd share a few other doozies: 1) Guy threw trash on the floor at a theatre- My first job was working at a movie theatre so I'm not a big fan of the people who leave their cups and boxes on the floor, but ...

This is one of those morbid stories that's just so funny to me: A Belgian man appeared in court on Friday after a woman at his dinner party found the bodies of his wife and stepson in the freezer as she put away the leftovers, prosecutors said. (more) I love that the guy allegedly killed his family, yet he's still in the mood for entertaining. I think even Martha Stewart would suggest taking the season off. Not only that, he's enlisting the help of the guests to clean up! "Where should I put the leftover meatloaf?" "In the freezer, next to my wife's foot." Or is it possible that it simply slipped his mind that the bodies were in there? At the very least, ...

I thought I was done with Paris Hilton for awhile then along comes a story like this: LOS ANGELES (AP) -- An empty can of gourmet dog food taken from Paris Hilton's trash fetched $305 in an eBay auction. The sellers were from the Web site HollywoodStarTrash.com, which also listed several other Hilton items for sale on eBay. A used toothbrush sold for $305; two envelopes sent to her while she was in jail sold for $510; and a Coke can pulled from her trash went for $51. It kind of scares me that there are people in this world with free access to the Internet who can spare $300 on an empty can of dog food. WHY???? What's the plan? Will ...