CONTACT		BIO		PHOTOS		VIDEOS		FASHION POLICE		MYSPACE  FACEBOOK

Killing Baddies

I followed up my 9/11 memorial in typical American fashion: by shootin' up a bunch of foreigners. I did so Delta Force style. Today's adventure games are so realistic, it's almost like you're really there. They even have locals who throw rocks at you and yell, "Leave us alone." I don't like people throwing rocks at me even in a game and have been known to bitch slap some of them with my rifle. And if they were also cackling in one of those really annoying languages, I can't say for sure I wouldn't do worse to them. The details really are incredible. You can even add plugins to increase the gore factor (which of course I did). We've come a long ...

9/11

(Long post. Not funny. Just felt like writing it. I'll return to my regularly scheduled snarkiness shortly). Last week marked the fifth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. Why didn't I discuss this on the anniversary? Because I don't believe the memory of such an important event in US- no world- history should be relegated to just one day (that, and I was out of town and didn't get around to writing it then like I'd planned). Like most people, I now mention 9/11 so casually that two or three times a year I go into memorial mode and seriously ponder the day's events. I have to shake my head and ask, "Did all that really happen???" (kind of the same way I ...

No Wedding Pitt

In the October issue of Esquire magazine, Brad Pitt reveals: Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able. I think that's an admirable stand to take and I, too, will not marry until everyone else is allowed (unless some guy asks me to marry him before that happens). While I hope he's sincere in his sentiment, I foresee a trickle-down effect to guys with cold feet everywhere. It used to be, "Sorry babe, you know I want to be secure professionally and financially before we walk down the aisle. Please be patient." But now it's going to be, "Sorry babe, I'd marry you today if I could but it ...

Debutante Under the Influence

Earlier this morning, Paris Hilton had the cuffs slapped on her (and they weren't the furry ones she's become accustomed to during her "home video" sessions). Any cop who pulls over someone like Paris Hilton for investigation of drunk driving has to be thinking it's his lucky day. He's like a broke man at a craps table: "Come on .08%!" Given all the trouble she's escaped in the past, I hope the arresting officer marched her into the precinct like the prized pig at the county fair: "Your Mel Gibson entry put on a mighty nice show with his anti-Semitic hootin' and hollerin' but lookie here at ...

The Croc Hunter Croaked

Unless you've had your head up a Wallaby's ass, you've already heard the news of the Croc Hunter's demise. When word of Steve Irwin's death hit Australian Prime Minister John Howard, he interrupted parliament to pay tribute: "We mourn his loss, we're devastated by the tragic circumstances in which he has been taken from us and we send our love and prayers to his grieving family," he said. Can the circumstances of his death really be deemed "tragic?" This wasn't some kid on summer vacation who was frolicking in the ocean and got attacked out of nowhere by a stingray. This was a man who made a living pissing off deadly animals. I don't think it's tragic; I think it's just. People ...

Copyright © 1999-2008 Jenée.net. All rights reserved. Any jokes attempted in this blog are done so under the supervision of a professional. Do not try these on your own blog.