When a teacher asked a 6-year-old boy to pull a folder out of his Scooby-Doo backpack, a bag filled with 25 smaller bags of marijuana fell out instead, a court document said. (Full story) Seriously? Pot in a Scooby Doo backpack? That's the punchline to so many hack comics' jokes. I can't help but picture the playground at morning recess: All the kids are just sitting around in little packs. Nicky "No Seeds" Randle shows the others how to make a bong out of an apple. Empty lunch bags are strewn about. The teachers wonder why nobody's playing and why attendance has been at 100% for the last month. Ah, to be young and stoned again.

I have been the major slacker blogger lately but with sweeps month ending, I should be a lot better (or not). Before I get to my recaps, I'll mention that I've noticed I seem to have the same reactions each week at the end of most of the shows I watch. They are: 24- "Oh my God!" (often it's also followed by "I can't believe they killed...") American Idol- "Why do I watch this show?" The Apprentice- "Moron." Lost- "What the hell was that???!!" CSI- "I gotta stop watching this when I'm eating." Survivor- "Morons." The Sopranos- (this season) "That sucked." Desperate Housewives- "I need to work out." Now for the finale recaps: Lost- I'll start with the best show on television, Lost. Even though it's coming back next season ...

Despite how I may come across in writing, I'm actually a very even-tempered person. The only times I yell are when I'm driving and when I'm playing online poker. My neighbors must think I'm in an abusive lesbian relationship due to my frequent shouts of, "YOU STUPID BITCH! HOW COULD YOU MAKE THAT CALL??!!" I do, however, show remarkable restraint in live games. Playing poker creates a bit of conflict for me. On the one hand, stupid players are the reason I can make money at it. On the other hand, stupidity in any form bugs the crap out of me and I want an explanation for it. For the most part, I keep the chat function turned off but occasionally ...

How does Lost do it each week? Every time the show answers a few questions, it opens up even more. I love it. I'm very intrigued by Miss Klugh (Clue?)'s question whether or not Walt has appeared in unexpected places. And Sawyer's really taken over Hurley's role as comic relief. Between his neverending nicknames (this week I only caught "Captain Arab" for Sayid) and his referring to sex with Ana Lucia as being "caught in a net" (does he think Jack and Kate had sex too?), he's just as easy on the ears as on the eyes. Well this week's "Lost Experience" clue was letyourcompassguideyou.com/. I went to the site, which features a compass you can move with your mouse. ...

I'm not usually big on song parodies but I think anybody who's a fan of the show 24 will get a kick out of this season's summary to the tune of John Mellencamp's "Jack and Diane." Jack Bauer's Plan

Some shopping encounters over the last few weeks: I was purchasing alcohol in a store and the cashier asked me, "How old are you?" I said, "21." With a surprised look he responded, "Really? No you're not." I asked, "Do you think I'm younger?" He said, "No, older." I replied, "Then why are you asking me my age? Just sell me the booze." ********** While exiting 7-11, I waited a few extra seconds to hold the door for a guy who was entering. Not only didn't he thank me, he didn't even acknowledge my existence in any way, as if I was the official 7-11 doorman and I might expect a tip if he looked at me. ********** Standing in line at a ...

I just read that yesterday NBC picked up a new comedy starring Jeffrey Tambor for the fall season. I think that officially puts the nail in the coffin for my beloved Arrested Development- a show that probably only needed one more season to surpass Seinfeld as the funniest sitcom ever. Sniff. First Chris Daughtry, now Arrested Development. What is wrong with America???? (Okay, so I never called to vote for Chris. But I'm not 15 so I'm not supposed to. If I knew any 15-year-olds I would have encouraged them to ditch their homework and call for him all night long).

I noticed he wore a wedding band. Not that I was interested, but it told me he's either Sleazy Cheater Guy or Waste My Time Guy. But I held out hope he was that golden bar creature: Rich Drink Buyer Who Doesn't Even Make A Pass Guy.

For those playing along with the "Lost Experience," tonight's clue said to go to sublymonal.com. I clicked on each of the glowing boxes until I received the code, "Heir Apparent." I went back to thehansofoundation.org and entered the code into a space on Thomas Mittlewerk's page. The following image appeared: (Click for larger image) I still don't know what it all means. I like this scavenger hunt they've set up but they're going to have to make it a little more exciting to tide me over in the summer months without Lost. See also: Transcript of 877-hansorg Transcript of first week's hidden letter

This clip from TVgasm demonstrates how a tv scene's mood changes when another show's theme music is applied, such as 24's Jack Bauer working to The Golden Girls theme song. I got a kick out of it.

I just stumbled upon these photos I took outside the Roxy last week on a night out with my brother and visiting brother-in-law. I won't comment, I'll just share. And I won't feel bad about it because apparently she wants everybody to see it. (click for even larger gut. I mean image) [tags]half-top, roxy, gut, belly[/tags]

On last night's episode of Grey's Anatomy, the characters made a big deal about a woman who didn't wash her hands after peeing. I must confess- I don't always wash my hands after using the toilet either. Any of you who just scrunched up your noses and said, "Ewww!" I have to ask: what the hell are you touching in there that makes it so gross? When I use the toilet, the only thing my hands touch is a wad of tissue paper that is cleaner than most of the other items I touch throughout the day. That's not to say I go around touching dirty items all day, just that we all touch various paper products- like money that's probably ...

Thanks to bobgirrl's trackback, I found this site: JesusPets. Like her, I originally questioned if it was legit but after reading a few of the posts, I see it's not. And it's hilarious. A little sampler for you: If you're a Christian, you've got a big problem on your hands. After you're swept away to walk the streets of gold with Jesus, red hot lava is going to pour from Mt. St. Helens and right over your dog, leaving his burned body encased for millennia until discovered by godless alien archeologists. And what do you suppose they'll do to his charred yet supple and hermetically sealed haunches? They are godless after all. (What would you do? That long space ...